Friday 10 April 2015

Holding On To Hope

   Holding on to hope these last few years has been hard. My family has had a lot of sickness (Half of the 7 members of my immediate family have had major health crises) and it doesn't seem to end. It's hard. It's really, really, really hard. I can't begin to describe to you the pain. I can't count the long nights spent crying myself to sleep, praying my heart out, only to wake up to still no change. And to have those nights turn into weeks, and those weeks turn into months, and those months slowly became years...

   Holding onto hope that it will get better, that healing will come, was (and is) hard. In all honesty if it were just up to me I would have lost all hope long ago. But it isn't just up to me. It's not just up to me because God promises to never leave me or forsake me. He never gave up and He never gives up hope. He never gave up on me, so why should I give up on Him healing? I know He is there, and I know He cares. I don't know why He hasn't totally healed my family already. I don't know. But I know He can and I know one day He will.

   I don't have all the answers. But I know God is love, and He is in control. And love doesn't let suffering occur without a purpose. Love doesn't forsake. Love doesn't abandon us. Love doesn't leave. Love doesn't give up. Love holds on. And if God is love and God is in control, which I know He is, than it will be ok. Today might not have been ok, but tomorrow will be. And if tomorrow isn't the next day will be. And if that day isn't that one after that will be. Eventually it's gonna be ok. I can't always see it, but God is good, His love endures forever.

   This was supposed to be a post on continuing to pray and hold on to hope even when it's hard. But honestly? It's a lot more like being ok with spending most of your prayer life in tears. Or living in a state of mostly emotionless because you no longer have the energy for emotion and things begin to grow dull after a point. It's getting out of bed everyday and doing what needs to be done. But God is ok with that. It's not being a super Christian, walking in insane amounts of hope and faith and ignoring current circumstances. It's choosing to trust despite the current reality, and doing what you can to shift it. It's acknowledging that life sucks, but also trusting that God is still good. (Believe me I am way better at the former than the latter though!)

   So how do you hold on to hope? I don't know. You just don't give up. You sing praises to God at the top of your lungs in the middle of the hurricane, and when you can't do that you whisper an "I love you". And when you can't do that you just sit there believing He is good. And when you can't do that you ignore Him for an hour or so and try again.

   You hold onto hope, because God said, "I. Love. You." And that is always, always, always, enough.


    "Love... it always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails."
1 Corinthians 13:7-8a



Friday 3 April 2015

Vision

  A little over a week ago I was laying in bed trying to fall asleep when I saw a vision. I shared it with a few friends, and thought it would be cool to share it here.   

 I saw a Muslim lady walking quickly alongside of a long parked bus
(which was dark grey/navy with a brown stripe running down it). She was emotionless and 8 or 9 months pregnant. Suddenly the view changed and I could see inside her womb. The baby (a boy) was dead and horribly deformed, especially his left leg which was almost completely missing. When I saw this part of the vision I cried out to God in heartbreak for the life of the baby. At once the baby kicked the wall of the womb 3 times (the number of perfection), and it resounded like a deep drum or shaking. Immediately it sent the women went into labor and she delivered her dead and deformed baby. I had expected him to be born alive after having kicked the womb 3 times. When I saw he was still dead and deformed my heart was wrenched and again I cried out to God for the life and health of the baby. At once life began to enter his body and the vision ended. 

   I was exhausted that night and fell asleep almost immediately after having the vision. In the morning God gave me the the verse in Daniel about God being the God in heaven who reveals mysteries and I remembered the vision. I praised God and asked what the vision meant, and this is what I got.

   The dead and deformed baby is the pretense of life in the Muslim cultures. The women is the nations and Muslim peoples themselves. She was cold and emotionless, assuming she carried life within her when there was none. When the baby kicked the womb 3 times in response to travailing prayer (my cry was representing the cry of all the saints and the Spirit for the Muslim people), it was the beginning of new life and hope within her. It was the beginning of a shaking that triggered birth pains within her.

  3 kicks/shakings/drum beats was because 3 is the number of perfection. God’s judgements and shakings are perfect, and those birth pains ultimately bring life. The result of birth pains is a joy so great that the trial and pain is completely overshadowed and forgotten. I believe the joy of the harvest to come from the Muslim world will greatly overshadow the birthing pains of the trials (ISIS, war, persecution etc.) that are now working to bring forth life.     

   Since she was 8 or 9 months pregnant, and the baby kicked 3 times I decided to look up Isaiah 8:3 and 9:3 (no reason for Isaiah in the dream, I just knew that is where I was to look). Isaiah 8:3 is, “Then I went to the prophetess, and she conceived and gave birth to a son. And the Lord said to me, 'Name him Maher-Shalal-Hash-Baz’.” Maher-Shalal-Hash-Baz means, 'quick to the plunder, swift to the spoils'. I think it has something to do with plundering Islam for Christ. We need to be quickly going to the spoils without wasting time. I believe we need to go forth to the Islam world in faith and in confidence for the time of harvest is upon us (The harvest is ready. John 4:35*). Isaiah 9:3 is, “You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy; they rejoice before You as people rejoice at the harvest, as men rejoice when dividing the plunder.” (Emphasis mine). We need to be rejoicing and praising God for the Islam harvest** even now. We need to be devising strategy for dividing the plunder even now. 

   Because of my fairly extensive background (for a 17 year old anyways) in the inner workings of a lot of different churches, the dividing the spoils part really struck me. I have been in a lot of churches that have a heart to see revival and see lives change, and it will start to come but they end up not having an existing infrastructure that can support it. They end up with tons of seekers and baby Christians and a very very small group of strong Christians that become completely overwhelmed with all the need. The growth of the seekers and baby Christians stalwarts because they don’t have anyone discipling/teaching them and the strong Christians burn out from trying to meet all the needs and not being fed themselves. From there one of two things happens. One, the ministry or church completely disintegrates. Or two, you end up with a (often large but not always) ministry that outwardly is growing and very successful, and although there are success stories coming out of it and there are good things happening, for the most part on the inside there is little growth and a lot of burned out leaders. Those leaders either end up in compromise/sin or they push for as long as they can and then one day they up and leave because they were overwhelmed, overloaded and not having their needs met for their personal walk. I have watched this play out so many times in so many churches. It’s heartbreaking and although the desire is good the ability to carry it out well is lacking. I wonder what would happen if we had strategies and infrastructure built ahead of time so we could actually handle the growth when it comes. What if instead of our focus being on how to start revival and how to get seekers in the door, the focus was on how do we partner with God’s heart/what He is doing in a way that we can sustain it. Too often the issue is not starting revival, rather sustaining it.

   I also thought I was supposed to look up Jeremiah 8:3 and 9:3 (although I felt God wanted to emphasize the Isaiah verses more in this particular instance). Both verses really fit with the broken state Islam is in. 8:3 is, “Wherever I banish them, all the survivors of this evil nation will prefer life to death, declares the Lord Almighty.” The Muslim people groups are currently in a state of preferring death (Islam) to life (Jesus). They are banished from Him for their sins, though He has made a way to restore them to Him (through the cross). 9:3 was, “ 'They make ready their tongue like a bow, to shoot lies; it is not by truth that they triumph in the land. They go from one sin to another; they do not acknowledge Me,’ declares the Lord.” That pretty much sums up Islam life (living in total deception, not acknowledging God and preferring death to life). 



1 Samuel 30:24 was going through my head while I was contemplating the dividing the plunder verse. “ 'The share of the man who stayed with the supplies is to be the same as that of him who went down to the battle. All will share alike.' David made this a statute and ordinance for Israel from that day to this.” I want to start a study on the different passages in the Bible that mention plundering or spoils. I will make sure to write a post if I get anything while doing that.  

 To clarify. Please don’t misunderstand me, I understand ultimately it is Holy Spirit who starts and sustains revival. It isn’t a system or any sort of human planning mechanisms that can do it. But I believe Holy Spirit is orderly and works within order (not that He can't work within chaos, but rather that even when it appears He is working within chaos, the reality is that He has an organized plan and purpose in everything. We just can’t always see it so we perceive it as chaos when in reality it well planned). I am not proposing we throw out Holy Spirit for a system or program, rather that we seek vision for how Holy Spirit orchestrates sustained revival so that we can partner with Him within order, and not just partner in what we perceive as chaos. I did want to clarify my heart on that.    


*John 4:35, "Do you not say, 'There are yet four months, then comes the harvest'? Look, I tell you, lift up your eyes, and see that the fields are white for harvest."

**By Islam harvest I mean the currently Muslim people who are going to get saved in these end times. 



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