5 Lessons from Death

I have nothing to fear from death, only lessons to learn.

Photo Credit: Beni Ishaque Luthor via Compfight cc

In the last three weeks my family has been rocked by two unexpected deaths. First my Uncle Gerald, who was doing poorly in a nursing home but might have lingered for years, was called Home after a stroke. Then my great-grandfather died, when everyone expected my great-grandmother to go first.

Experiences like that make you look at death in new ways, examine your reactions to it, and try to make sense of things.

You and I are young, and our faith is in Jesus. The grave has been conquered, and our lives lie ahead of us. How does death touch our lives besides leaving painful holes? Is it possible to carry more away from a loved one's passing than the cliché "live like you were dying" (which is a high-pressure, practically impossible sentiment anyway)?

After looking back on the deaths of five precious people in my life, I've gleaned five lessons that death. Perhaps they will help you somehow, whether or not you have ever lost someone near to you.

1. Never lose an opportunity to bless others. Every day brings our loved ones one step closer to leaving us forever. This isn't morbid, it's just facing the facts, and it urges us to treat everyone as if they had a fatal illness. Because they do. Take time out of your schedule, money out of your bank account, and love out of your heart to spend on others.
2. Don't ignore people "on the fringe." A few years ago my 19 year old friend lost his life in a car accident. We weren't very close, hardly more than acquaintances, but that was mainly because I kept him at arm's length. He was "different" than me, so instead of breaking through boundaries and befriending this young man, I let him die and leave me with so many regrets. 
3. Value the elderly. Last spring I lost one of my dearest friends, a 98 year old man named Byron who was like a third grandfather. He taught me so much with his love, wisdom, and insight, but only because I spent time with him. If I hadn't visited him once a week for several years, he would have been just another old man, but because I took the time to get to know him, I was blessed beyond my imagination.
4. Invest in people, not stuff. My great-grandfather was a dear man, beloved by many, but his last years were marred by a spirit of selfishness. He hoarded his money for no apparent reason. He wouldn't even repair the roof (which was falling in on him and his wife) because it would cost too much. He wouldn't get rid of his junk because he hoped to get some money out of it. Where were his priorities? "But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal" (Matthew 6:20). We all love our "stuff," but it's gone too far when our money and possessions get in the way of the people around us.
5. See what a good life looks like. I don't know about you, but I tend to set incredibly high standards for myself. When I die I want important people at my funeral, I want awards and special ceremonies, I want to be remembered as an amazing person. But when my Uncle Gerald died I realized that even though he might have been unremarkable, he lived up to what Jesus calls each of us to be: someone who loves God and loves people. Everyone called Gerald "a good man," and the truth is that if we accomplish that much in our lifetimes, we can consider ourselves successful.

What has been your experience with death? What did you learn from it?

Decisions

Decisions, decisions, they seem to be persistent.

I go here, I go there, and still I face decisions.

Red or Green? Pink or Blue? Large or Small? False or True?

Yes or No? High or Low? Hot or Cold? Shy or Bold?

Forever? For Eternity? Or just a small, small while?

For Him? For Her? For two, or one? To Hold? To Drop?

To Walk or Trot?  I must make a decision.

Oh!  I know what I will choose!  Not red or green, not pink or blue,

 I will choose to call on God to make the right decision.

Now I know just what to do, I'll ask God first and then I'll choose.

Although my decision may seem to be not wrong or right, just a choice in my life.

My life is made of the big and yes, small, even seemingly insignificant decisions.

For if I learn how to wisely choose, yes even red or green,, or pink or blue,
I will learn to choose how to live and what to do.

Should I marry?  Should I not?  Should I buy a car or not?
Big decisions I now can make, for I've learned to look God and wait.

I can trust Him.  This I know.  For you see, I've tried His way and He has a perfect way.

Decisions, decisions, I can now make.  Who knew?!

I can make decisions.

- This guest post was written by Christina Crain. You can learn more about her and her family at www.CrainsNestBand.com

or pink or blue, I will learn to choose how to live and what to do.

Should I marry?  Should I not?  Should I buy a car or not?

Big decisions I now can make, for I've leaned to look God and wait.

I can trust Him.  This I know.  For you see, I've tried His way and He has a perfect way.

Decisions, decisions I now can make.  Who knew?!

I can make decisions.

Battle Partners or the Enemy?

Siblings....they can be your best friends or your worst enemies.

What are your siblings to you? 

I personally, have a brother that is five years older than me and a sister that is two years younger.  The older we have gotten the better our relationships have become.  My brother is from my Dad's first marriage, so throughout my childhood my brother would live most of the time at his mom's house and occasionally at our house.  As the years went by we saw less and less of him as he became involved with sports, boy scouts and other things.  However, my sister and I adored our older brother and I can honestly say I only remember having one fight with him when I was really young.  My sister and I however, have grown up side by side.  We did everything together and knew the other one as well as we knew ourselves.  We were each others best friends....but there were times we wished the other one lived on another planet. 

This summer, for those of you who remember, Altogether Separate took a blogging break as we the writers were going on vacation.  Part of my vacation consisted of attending a "Whatever It Takes" conference in Indianapolis, Indiana.  We started the conference out by discussing the false beliefs that many of us.  Satan has uses these false beliefs to cloud our minds and keep us in bondage.  One of the false beliefs that was mentioned was: "My Parents/siblings Are My Enemy".  Ouch!  How many times had I viewed my sister as my enemy.  After all, she was the one saying or doing something to me that hurt...right?  As Paul and Jenny Speed (The speakers) discussed this false belief, I realized that I had spent my life believing this lie and it has brought such destruction to my relationships.  Even though I grew up knowing we live in a spiritual daily battle, I still saw my sister as my enemy, when in fact, the true enemy was Satan.  I know this sounds so simple, but it hit me hard.  Every time I say something mean, or treat someone with disrespect I am allowing Satan to use what I say or do in the lives of other people and vice versa.  Yes, my siblings (and myself included) made the decision to say or do whatever we did and are responsible to God for them, but Satan knows that the person who the words were said to, now has a choice to make and that is when he starts to work on the other person.  He plants assumptions, thoughts and ideas in our heads to encourage us to fail.  He uses the failings and struggles of someone else to make us sin and therefore two people (at the very least) are rendered ineffective to Christ in that short period of time.

As I sit here trying to type this out.  I'm trying to figure out how to make this as simple as possible.  When our siblings are battling the enemy and they fail (sin), we need to realize that at that moment it is not our siblings who are our enemy but Satan who is using them as a tool. I know how hard it is to view it this way.  When someone says something that hurts me deeply, all I see is that person who said it.  But what I need to see is the enemy behind the person.

In the workbook we were given at the conference, the false belief "My Parents/siblings Are My Enemies" had some bullet points that I would like to share with you.

* This belief will later become "My spouse is my enemy."  This lie does not just stay with our siblings, because it is a part of how we view people when they say or do something that hurts us.  Therefore, this lie will transfer to your future spouse if we do not make efforts to change our outlook now! 

* Our Parents/Siblings are our battle partners - not enemies.  For those of us who have christian siblings and parents we are fortunate to have God-given battle partners in our own homes.  However, Satan has blinded so many of us to that fact because we view our family as the enemy when we are struggling with something.   When either a parent, sibling or even friend strike out at us, it is a sign that they are battling and starting to fail. 

When you watch those action movies and a battle is being acted out before our eyes, usually there is a scene where one of the heroes is being beaten by the enemy, but the heroes friend steps in to help and together they defeat the enemy. 

As Christians in a spiritual battle, we need to see our family as our spiritual battle partners.  We need to see our sibling (battle partner) failing and jump to the rescue. - not just hear the hurtful words and see them as the enemy!

by foodpr0n.com
http://www.flickr.com/photos/jlunar/228650018/sizes/n/in/photostream/

*See our Parents/Siblings as God's gifts - we will see our spouses the same way.  Cultivating this response to hurtful words and actions will help us in every relationship that God brings into our lives, including our future spouses.  I know I do not want to to view my spouse as my enemy and I do not want Satan to be able to work through him to get at me, therefore I need to be cultivating this response now, at the training ground God has placed me at.

"For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."  Ephesians 6:12   

Honestly??!!

Hello friends,

The next two weeks we will be having random posts about different things that are important to us.  Whether they be personal lessons we are learning, things we are passionate about, things that excite us or whatever else that the Lord lays on our hearts.

I've been reading lots of posts lately that talk about being honest and personal with you, our readers.  I can understand where these bloggers are coming from, as I can relate to so many of them that open their hearts and let the world see that they are not perfect and I'm thankful that they shared with their readers.  However, I've always struggled with sharing personal things on posts and today was no different as I struggled to figure out what to share with all of you.   I try so hard to look the part of a perfectly content, patient, kind, loving, purposeful, thankful and you can add whatever else you want that fits what you think is the steryotype of a Stay-At-Home-Daughter.  I may be the only homeschooled person most of the people I see, may come into contact with and I want them to have a positive picture in their mind.  I want people to see Christ's reflection in me and desire it for themselves.  I want to live a life that is filled with purpose and have a relationship with my heavenly Father that is never shaken.  I want to wake up every morning with a smile in my heart that comes from thoughts that are focused on Him.  My problem is that only God is perfect and I fail every single day at being that "perfect person."

Today was one of those days that I woke up very depressed.  There was not a smile in my heart and it wasn't a morning that I was looking forward to having devotions with my heavenly Father.  The sun may have been shining outside, but there was a thunderstorm brewing in my soul.  I think we all have days like that, but it's not something that we want to share, because it is not supposed to happen!  Even though we all know in our hearts that no one is perfect, our flesh and Satan make us feel like we are the only ones this happens to and that if anyone knew what we were thinking or how we were feeling they would think we were failures and horrible people.

Even though I knew in my heart and I knew what the Bible said, I was struggling with thoughts about God's love for me.  I felt like He knew everything that was going to happen in my life and that my prayers didn't even matter.  That although He made me, He was not fulfilling His promise of being a personal God......I know, NOT TRUE!, but it was how I was feeling!!

To top if off, I had a post to write for all of you about something that was personal.....Have you tried to write something that is supposed to be heartfelt and "spiritual" and you know that your heart isn't right?  It just isn't possible.  So I put off writing all day and God quietly worked in my life throughout the day.

First off, I was able to have the rain shower those thunder clouds were holding in my soul, with my Mom and shed the tears and release the tension that was building up inside of me.  She pointed me to Him, but the thunderclouds still stayed despite their being fully emptied. However, the release of tension was the start of His plan in calming me down. 

As we worked on different projects throughout the day, my mind calmed down and I saw the different lies I was believing about myself and then the Lord led me to watch the video posted below.  It was posted by a fellow Pinterest/Blogger friend and was such an incredible blessing to me.  The title of the video is "Father's Love Letter" and is truly beautiful.   I'm sure it has different versions of the Bible used in it, but the message is still the same.

It used all those verses that reminded me of His love, care, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness.  His forgiveness, His example, His guidance, His personal plan for each of us, His working in our lives and His promises to us.  It was exactly what this imperfect, fearful sinner needed to hear.

Then guess what happened....I got on my blogger dashboard to see what the people I follow have been writing and "Journey in the South" had a post titled "Why Live?"......The titled intrigued me as it was exactly what I had been asking myself.

Here is an excerpt from the post:

"There are things I have to do.

Questions I have to answer.

People I need to see.

People who NEED me: my little sister, my Mom, the kids at RU.

There's a life I need to live and a purpose that still needs to be fulfilled.

There's an adventure waiting just around the bend.

There's a Bible waiting for me to open it and gain wisdom and knowledge.

There are people who need my prayers - need me to get out of bed and get on my knees.

There's a reason for everything, so there must be a reason I'm here, and I don't want to miss it.

There is God, who wants me to follow Him. Because no one has the same journey as me that He has mapped out Himself and made me for."

God gave me what I needed to bring my focus back on Him and I'm thankful that He did.  He gave me the courage to share this with you and I'm thankful He did :]  I'm not perfect, but God still loves me.  I'm not perfect and never will be on this earth, but He still treasures me and I can cling to His promises that never fail.  Will I still fail? Yes, every day.  Will He still be there to help me stand?  Yes, every day.

Photo Credit: icanthrugod.tumblr.com

I found a quote on Pinterest that I thought expressed my feelings exactly and it is what I want to close with.

"I can't brag about my love for God because I fail Him daily.  But I can brag about

 His love for me because it never fails." 

 Praise the Lord!

Overcoming the Challenges!

What verses in the Bible do we find challenging?.......................................

This topic should be fun! 

When I use the word "challenge", what exactly do I mean by that?  Well, Websters 1828 Dictionary says,

CHALLENGE, n. Literally, a calling, or crying out, the primary sense of many words expressing a demand, as claim. Hence appropriately,

1. A calling upon one to fight in single combat; an invitation or summons, verbal or written, to decide a controversy by a duel. Hence the letter containing the summons is also called a challenge.



Credit given to Google images



2. A claim or demand made of a right or supposed right.

There must be no challenge of superiority.

So, when I say "What verses in the Bible are challenging?" I see the word meaning in this context, "What is God "claiming" or "demanding" of us (we who have been bought with a price and owe Him our allegiance).  What verses does He call us to obey and it is a struggle for us to fulfill them?

Well, which verse do I choose.  I am far from perfect and struggle every day to fulfill the commands of Christ and still I fail every day.  Yet I can wake every morning with thankfulness, knowing that:

Lamentations 3:21-23 "But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

Everyday is challenge for me to wake up with a positive outlook on life.  It is very easy for me to see the negatives and feel defeated before I even get up out of bed.  The verse that comes to mind the most is:

Philippians 4:8 "Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."

Whew! This is a hard one for me.  Some days are easier than others, but it can be difficult to constantly remind myself to think on things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely and of good report.  Sometimes the battle against the flesh and the spiritual battle we face can be overwhelming.





Credit given to google images

 However, if I am to take the challenge God has placed before me, then removing the negatives from my mind must happen first and then I must replace them with things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely and of good report (THJPL&GR).

So.....what things are "THJPL&GR?"  Well, God's Word would be the first place to look. Here are some of my favorite verses that I've been memorizing to help with thinking on the things that He is challenging me to think on.

Joshua 1:8 "This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success."

Psalm 16:11 "You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore."

Matthew 26:41 "Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."

Galations 6:9 "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."

Ephesians 2:10 "For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

God's Word is True, Honest, Just, Pure, Lovely, and of Good Report.  There is nothing else that we could fill our minds with and think on, that would be better than His Word.  The very first verse that I mentioned (Joshua 1:8) talks about meditating on His Word day and night "so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it."  We have to meditate and be familiar with His Word in order to be able to do what He has called, commanded, or challenged us to do.  "then you will have good success."

When we are struggling with trials that have been placed in our lives we need to claim the promises of God and find the encouragement we need in the Fortress of "Trust In Him."  When we trust that He is in control and think on things that are "THJPL&GR" then we can be sure that we are inside His fortress and can see through the "positive glasses" that God will have the victory over sin and all evil one day.  We are surrounded by battle flags of victory if we would claim them for ourselves.

Credit given to google images

Battle Flags like:

Psalm 34:8 "Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!"

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the LORD, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end."

1 Corinthians 2:9 "But, as it is written, 'What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him.'"

Isaiah 40:31 "but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."

Psalm 18:2 "The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge, my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold."

Psalm 119:105 "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."

When we are feeling defeated, we need to think on these verses and so many others.  God's challenges to us are not impossible.  They are not unthinkable and unachievable.  He is our strength, our shield, our refuge, our fortress, our deliverer, our rock, our guide, our leader, our Savior, our Creator, our GOD.

Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through him who strengthens me."   

2 Corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."

Courage Through HIS Strength!

You are sitting in the car driving with a parent toward your local DMV (Department of Motor Vehicles).  Your heart is pumping ten times faster than its normal rate and therefore your breathing is faster as well.  When your hands lift off the steering wheel you can visibly see them shake, so you quick grab the steering wheel in a different position and then realize that you are gripping the wheel so hard, that your knuckles are white......

rita, a photo by meghannash on Flickr.

That was me December of 2008.  I had turned 18 a few months earlier and knew that it was time to get my license.  I felt comfortable with my driving, but I was nervous about the written test (What random questions would they ask and I wouldn't know them?) and the thought of driving with a police officer watching my every move was just a little (greatly) nerve wracking to me.

With all these emotions swirling around, I tried to reason with myself.  "Millions of people have taken this test and survived-this is not a life or death situation.  In the grand scheme of things, this is so small.  What is the worst that could happen?  I could fail and have to take the test again at a later date.  Not a big deal."  But my reasoning was not stopping those butterflies from square dancing in my stomach!!

If there are any kindred spirits out there, you know what I am talking about!  Being a person on the shy side, this was hard!!!

Dad and I pulled into the parking lot, parked the car and then he reached over, took my hand and prayed with me.  As he prayed, the verse Philippians 4:13 came to mind, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."  And I knew right then, that God had given me that verse to help me through the next hour.  "I can do all things through Christ" played through my mind over and over and over again like a broken record.

I knew God was in control and had a reason for anything that happened that day.  I could do anything with God's strength and that was what I clung to as I circled the answers to the questions, talked with the officer, drove with him and parked back in the parking lot.

God's promises are there for us to claim and take hold of.  His Word will not return void, but full and overflowing.

Our goal over the next two weeks will be to share with you our favorite verse(s) or verse(s) that have helped us through different times in our lives.  I don't have a favorite verse, as so many of them have rung true, brought comfort and courage, and been so special through different situations I've dealt with.  However Philippians 4:13 was truly a verse that held me above the fear that was trying to bring me down and it encouraged me to trust HIM!

Oh, and for the record, God helped me to "do all things" with flying colors.  Both the written and driving test were passed on the first try! =)  God is good!

Treasures Found in Homeschooling

Nothing beats homeschooling :]

I am daily thankful for the decision my parents made when I was in second grade, to take my sister and I out of a private school and homeschool us all the way through till graduation!  There were/are so many blessings associated with being homeschooled that it is hard to choose one thing that stands out in my memory as something that was unique to being homeschooled - something that your average kid would not have been able to do.

I guess I'll go with the memory of training alpacas :] 

I have to preface this story by saying that my sister and I were involved in 4-H animal husbandry as soon as we were able to join (8 years old).  We started out with horses and stayed with them until 2002 right after I turned 12. 

It was a beautiful New England fall day.  You know, the one where your just entering fall and the weather is still warm, but not stifling.  I want you to picture a true to form agricultural fair.  You can hear the cows mooing as their owners spraying them down, trying to clean them before Fitting & Show; you can hear the announcer down in the infield announcing the placing of the horse show, and you can hear the sheep and goats baahing, waiting for their little trainers to come and feed them. You can smell those fries that you can only find at the fair along with those jumbo donuts that only come around once a year.

So, you can hear & smell, but what can you see?  Well, there is the 4-H Ice Cream Parlor where there is always a long line of people waiting to get there frappes, sundaes or just a bowl of hard ice cream.  There are the buildings filled with crafts that people have worked on all year and of course there are all the concession buildings selling unique items. But the important thing that you see, is the red and white striped tent.  Inside of it is an obstacle course made up of jumps, hula hoops, weave poles, and a kiddie pool.  And going through the obstacle course are a couple girls ranging from 9-13 years old, leading their alpacas.  They willingly handed over the lead ropes to us to let us play with their animals.  We were hooked:]

That October we joined the Jumping Jax Alpaca Trax 4-H Club and leased our first two alpacas, Black Mirage and Ace Ventura.  These two boys that had been donated to the club with several other alpacas from a farm in Ohio.

That day at the fair was a turning point in our lives.  We have since had up to 12 alpacas, but our numbers have fluctuated over the years and we currently have 11.

However, I want to get back to the point of this post.  "What is one thing that we were able to do growing up as homeschoolers that most kids would not have been able to do?"

A month before we joined the  4-H club, our mom took us on a field trip (a plus for homeschooling) to a farm about 50 minutes away.  This farm had miniature donkeys, sheep, goats, chickens, turkeys, horses, dogs and guesss what...alpacas.  We hit it off with the owner and when she found out we were 4-Hers we clicked even more. (She had been a 4-Her and had raised her kids with 4-H).



A new born cria on the farm :]

 We visited the farm several times, as she had a fiber area where she gave classes on how to use the different fleeces.  One of the times we visited we got to talking about the different  training classes we had taken with our 4-H club on how to halter train, lead, and gain the alpacas trust.  She said that she had to train several crias (baby alpacas) every year to walk on a halter, stand still and allow people to touch them, so that she could bring them to the different breeders shows each season. 

~At this point I should mention that alpacas are VERY skittesh animals and it is not their natural instinct to ask for attention, but rather to run away from people.

With all the other things on the farm that kept her busy she didn't have the time to train them and would we be interested in training them?  We were shocked and honored!  The animals that she was asking us to train were the "cream of the crop" on her farm and would be representing her farm at the shows.

This is where it got exciting.  Because we were homeschooled  this was a terrific opportunity that we were able to take!  If we had gone to a public or private school we would never have been able to accept this offer.  We had to plan on two hours of travel time every time we went over and then at least 3 hours training and we had to be over at the farm a couple times a week. 

We learned so much about animal husbandry on this farm, as well as business management, and like anyone who spends time with animals, it gave us several opportunities to grow some character. 

We worked there for several years training each new year's crias and continuing to work as well with the previous years show animals.


Suri Crias - There are two different breeds of
alpacas. Suri fiber grows in long pencil locks.

 I usually worked with the Suri alpacas.  Something about them just drew me to them.  They were more skittish then the Huacayas, but once I gained their trust you could see a relationship building.  When we would bring them to the show, it would often times be their first time being away from their mom and because I was a familiar face and smell and my voice was familiar, they would cling to me.

God gave us so many opportunities at the shows to be a bright light for Him to so many people.  Because there were so few kids there, we were watched all the time and people would comment. 

We learned so much at the shows about the alpaca industry, the different businesses and yet there were so many little things we learned (although not little in the grand scheme) like responsibility, respect and using every opportunity to reflect Christ.

There were also the lessons that came with traveling, packing, and preparing for these shows.  We were taught how to be prepared for anything but to still be frugal.


Huacaya Crias - My sister trained these.
There fiber grows straight our like
a teddy bears :]


The life skills that we learned over the years would not have been learned if we had not been homeschooled.  The time needed to pursue these activities cannot usually be found with kids who attend a public or private school unless there parents actually own the farm or they live right next door to one.

We learned so very much in the 6 years that we did this and I am so thankful for the opportunity that we had and the lessons that we learned.  God is good.