Waiting For Marriage...or Not.

I don't think that God is calling you to wait for marriage. 

Waiting, a photo by h.koppdelaney on Flickr.

Now that I have your attention, I'll clarify. What picture comes to mind at the word "wait"? Perhaps it's a pair of hands folded submissively on a lap, a patient dog beside the door, or bored travelers at a bus stop. I've heard some people talk as if single young women should act like this: passive and stagnant. 

But what does God have to say about waiting?

In Matthew 25 Jesus told the parable of ten young women who had to wait all night for wedding festivities to begin. "Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. The wise ones, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps." When the bridegroom came along, guess which girls were ready to come out and meet him: the ones who were prepared.

I'm a homeschooled girl who has never had a boyfriend (gasp), and yes, sometimes it's difficult to imagine how I will ever meet Mr. Right unless it's through some kind of random accident. At times it's easy to ignore the fact that I'm single and I can throw myself into living a full and meaningful life, but sometimes it's easy to sit back and bemoan my fate, saying, "Well, I guess I have to wait." If you've ever been tempted to say that, then here is a wake-up quote for you:

A girl who lives a static life of waiting to be married is not attractive. Think what it conveys: “I’ll just sit here idly while waiting for someone to come and give me a purpose, and a house and money and food and make me happy and love me.” It’s very needy. A man wants a companion, not a sympathy case. 

-Debi Pearl, Preparing to Be a Helpmeet 

Let me tell you Lydia's story. Lydia is a beautiful woman with a heart on fire for God. For years her friends admired and appreciated her talents and passion, watching as she embarked on mission trips and made beautiful music with her hands and voice. She was cheerful, sweet, funny, adventurous, and strangely single. Why weren't there dozens of eligible young men snapping her up? 

Perhaps Lydia was thinking that too. I've heard her talk about her struggles in this area, how she wanted a husband but God didn't seem to want that for her. Well, she decided, if marriage wasn't part of the plan she would find out what was. So she took a trip to Israel with the sole purpose of praying and seeking God's heart. And guess what: she found a husband! The moment she stopped waiting for God's will and started doing God's will, Mr. Right fell into her life in an amazing way. 

All of this to say, don't wait, girls! Wait for intimacy, wait for giving your heart away, but for Heaven's sake don't wait to do something meaningful and purposeful in this world until you've found a mate. Unfold your hands and stop being "needy," do the things that will prepare you to be an amazing wife and an amazing woman, because you never know who could be watching....