God and Hamsters

It’s amazing how much hamsters can teach us about God and ourselves and how the world works.

Tonight I heard a sermon illustration featuring hamsters, which has given me a lot of food for thought. It puts this whole strange world and life thing in simple and relatable terms. 

The pastor’s daughters had two pet hamsters, and they put them in a wonderful hamster cage. This cage had everything a hamster’s heart could desire: wheels, tunnels, treats, companionship, lots of food and water. However, one of the hamsters dreamed of a better life, because he started digging through the wall of the cage. The pastor took note of it, but decided to wait until it got worse before he patched the hole. 

Well, the hamster was more determined than he’d guessed, for one night it made its escape.

But the pastor knew something that the little hamster didn’t. Outside of the cage was a cat. The cat’s purpose was to devour the local mice population, but being a well-fed cat he more often nibbled on the mice rather than kill them outright. He was a sadistic torturer, gnawing on rodents before releasing them and catching them again. 

This hamster was in for a world of hurt.

Confessions of a Failure

Do you feel safe talking about your mistakes? Is there someone you can go to who has your complete trust, and who doesn't mind knowing the worst about you?

As Christian homeschool girls, we have a lifestyle that separates us from many others. We have hiccoughs and hangups that other people just can't understand. But don't worry--we "get" you. You're in good company here.

There is power in being real and sharing our mistakes and the ways God has worked to change us. Just sifting through this blog's archives you'll find a lot of real-life issues and confessions: the truth about my idol, Jessica being forced to "adjust her sails," Rose's fear and depression, Mary Kate's struggles with getting up early, Sarah's doubts and questions about her faith. We all have our rough spots, our breakdowns, our failures, but if we stay quiet about them we'll never be able to help others through the same things. By keeping our failure to ourselves, we deny anyone else the benefit of learning from our mistakes. 

Believe it or not, God often uses the most broken part of a person to bring about the most good. The mother who aborted her child now campaigns for the right to life. The quadriplegic becomes a source of inspiration to millions. The lonely homeschool girl who never had any friends grows into a compassionate woman who constantly reaches out to others. It's happened many times before, and it can happen to you.

Even if you have always grown up in a Christian house and always considered yourself a pretty good girl, you've probably changed a lot over the years. God has smoothed sharp edges, healed wounds, and crafted you into something more beautiful, more like Jesus. I know that there are a few of those areas in my life, illuminated by a big, blinking neon sign that says "FAILURE."

• Envy: I could write a whole blog post (or two or three or four) about looking at others and wanting what they have, i.e. artistic, musical, and theatrical talent that I lack, or a romantic relationship. I've fallen into the trap of feeling very possessive about a dear friend, and resenting people who are better than me in certain areas.  
• Disrespect: Since I'm around my family all the time, I often treat them like they're second-class citizens. I'd never say some of the things I've said to my brother if he was just a friend and not a family member. I regret so many harsh and selfish words I've spoken to those who are nearest and dearest to me. 
• Good-girl-ism: When you have a good reputation it's tempting to put on a mask that makes you look completely pure and blameless, hiding and therefore denying your own faults. That's called pride and hypocrisy, and it's ugly.
• Judging: I've also fallen into the trap of condemning others who live a different way. I take one look at them, pull up the folder with their stereotype inside, and start thinking about all the negative aspects of their personality, looks, background, etc. 

Maybe you think I'm a dirty rotten scoundrel now, and shouldn't be writing for a blog like this at all. Hopefully, though, you realize that we have all fallen short of the glory of God. Maybe you fall short in different ways, but we all fail. However, we know what God does with failure. Over the years He has worked on me. I haven't come full circle on all of these problems yet, but at least I know they are problems, and that's the first step.

What mistakes have you learned from, and how is God changing you?

Original Photo: Confessions of a broken heart, a photo by Dannyqu on Flickr.

When Trust Doesn't Come Easy

I once wondered how anyone couldn't trust God. "He's the creator of the universe, the Alpha and Omega, he sent his son to die on the cross for us. What's not to trust?" 

Then I went to Bible school.

That experience challenged me in ways I'm still figuring out. At Capernwray I learned that I have major trust issues with my heavenly father. If you're familiar with my past posts, you know that I'm something of a perfectionist, a "good girl" who is passionate about doing everything the right way. What I'm beginning to realize is that this passion for perfection is not always driven by an all-American drive to succeed; more often it is a product of fear. Skull-crushing, heart-thumping, stomach-turning, blood-draining fear. 

And it's stopped me short of adventure my whole life.

People marvel at how I succeed at everything I turn my hand to. Sure, I have some natural talents, but do you want to know the dirty little secret behind my success? I never attempted anything I thought I could fail at. If the going got tough, I got going--in the other direction. The things that I had to muscle through (i.e. algebra) I abandoned as quickly as possible. In other endeavors where I was less-than-brilliant, I kept dragging along in misery day after day, unwilling to admit that I was a "failure" and quit instead of wasting any more time (i.e. piano). 

That was a dreary battle. 

Bible school taught me (again) that God's power is perfected not in my strength, but in my weakness. "Really? I don't have to be fantastic at everything I set my hand to? God can use me even when I'm not succeeding?" That's what I read in the Bible. That's the message I heard from the lectern.

So then the biggest test of my life came, right at the end of term. I was offered a job at the Bible school as an office assistant for one year. 

Can you imagine my fear? This sounds like the perfect opportunity: the job seems to fit me perfectly, the atmosphere is wonderful, the staff wants me to come on board, the school is located in England (a country I've always been absurdly passionate about)...what's not to love? Well, the thought that I would be away from my family for a year is enough to rip my heart out and stomp it into the dust (Homeschool girls, you know how close we are to our families!). At the same time, every indicator shows that this is God's will for me--confirmation from friends and family, circumstances working out perfectly--how can I ignore this clear call?

It comes down to trusting God. 

After several weeks of tearing my hair out, crying, seeking counsel, praying and praying and praying and crying out to God, I've come to the place where I believe this is God's will for me. He's giving me this chance, holding out the frightening opportunity to go out on a limb and do something entirely outside my comfort zone, breaking away from everything I've ever known to do something he's calling me toward. 

Would you take the leap? Would you ignore the pain in your heart and the angst in your spirit and say, "Yes, Lord, I'm going to follow you"? 

I've decided to take the job, and am now working toward getting my work visa and buying another ticket to fly to England this September. To tell the truth, I still don't feel good about it. I haven't experienced anything miraculous that I would call "the peace of God," but still I know that this is a chapter of the story that God wants me to write. Maybe the fear will go away, maybe it won't, but I know that trusting God is never a risk. He is faithful. He is the creator of the universe. No matter how I feel, he is with me and he cares for me, and he will reward those who diligently seek him.

How to Find Your Spiritual Gift

Have you ever wondered whether or not you have a spiritual gift?

I have been studying this topic in Bible school, asking hard questions and delving into the unique ways God has equipped me to further His kingdom. Though I usually think of something spectacular and special whenever I consider spiritual gifts, I know that Paul wrote about them to believers like you and me. Just because you've never spoken in tongues, performed a miraculous healing, or proclaimed a prophecy doesn't mean that you don't have a gift of the Holy Spirit! But how do you know which one you have?

As Mary Kate explained on her post about what the Bible says about spiritual gifts, all of them come from God, and it is up to Him to choose which one each person receives. Unlike natural talents, spiritual gifts are not genetic. It's not something you inherit from your parents, it's just what it sounds like: a gift from the Holy Spirit to you. Isn't it great to know that if you are a Christian then you have a special ability straight from God? He knows what your future looks like and He knows how He created you, so this gift is absolutely perfect for you.

Here are some of the gifts mentioned in Scripture: 

• Administration
• Apostelship
• Distinguishing between spirits
• Evangelism
• Exhortation
• Faith
• Gifts of healing
• Giving
• Helps
• Interpretation of tongues
• Leadership
• Mercy
• Miracles
• Pastor-teacher
• Prophecy
• Serving
• Teaching
• Tongues
• Word of knowledge
• Word of wisdom

If you type "spiritual gift" into Google you'll come up with many tests, questionnaires, and analyses that will supposedly reveal the way God has equipped you to work for Him. These can be useful for determining your strengths--I just took one and found that I ranked high in hospitality, service, and giving--but is this an ironclad word from the Lord? 

Not necessarily. I think that we have to be careful to not limit ourselves only to those areas where we appear to be gifted, because we might have a gift lying dormant, just waiting for the opportune moment to be recognized. Also, we might not be given a gift once and for all and never get another one. We can actually pursue some spiritual gifts rather than others (1 Corinthians 14). Something that test results might not take into consideration is that gifts need to be cultivated. If you have the gift of teaching, it's not guaranteed that at the moment of coming to faith in Christ you will become an absolutely fabulous teacher. You'll have to hone that gift just as you'd hone a natural talent. 

So a test won't tell you everything, but there are other ways of discovering your gift. Here's a process that I would encourage you to follow with me as I stumble along this learning experience toward using my spiritual gifting:

1. Look inside: Consider taking a test or inventory of your gifts.
2. Read and pray: Dwell on the Word and talk with God to get an idea of His purpose for you.
3. Ask others: See if someone else recognizes a gift in you.
4. Don't focus on it: Stand strong in the knowledge that God has equipped you for His purposes, but don't get fixated on what your gift is. If you don't find out right now, have patience! It may not be the right time.

Whatever your gift is, I encourage you to embrace such an amazing life, such an adventure, such a mission, that you cannot do it without using everything God has given you. 

Have you struggled with finding your spiritual gift? 

Do you have any advice for someone who wants to discover theirs?

From Homeschool to Bible School

It’s like living on a different planet, yet it feels as natural as singing.

A few weeks ago I was living at home having just finished my college degree online, feeling very “in between.” I had a degree, but no job, no car, and no plan for my life. What I did have was a passion for Britain, and a need to get closer to the Lord. After finding out about Capernwray Bible School I knew what I had to do, and on April 14 I began the biggest adventure of my life so far—a journey to Lancashire, England that would mean attending a “real school” for the first time in my life.

Maybe you’re on the verge of just such a transition. If so, you’re wondering, “Did homeschooling prepare you for Bible school? What was the transition like?”  

As you all know, it’s sometimes difficult for us homeschool girls to find great numbers of friends. We usually have a few deep friendships rather than a broad spectrum of acquaintances. That was certainly characteristic of my childhood. I have five or six girls I would consider my best friends, and I’ve never been able to break out of that. Part of me has wished for more friends, but my introverted self is more than happy to stick with my few dear friends rather than settle for more shallow relationships.

Bible school has plunged me into the 24/7 company of 152 students, many around the same age as me, most of them at the same place in life—in between. Men, women, boys, girls, Canadians, Germans, Romanians, Brits, missionary kids, homeschoolers, public schoolers, all these are swirled into a motley jumble of people longing to know the Lord. It’s a radical departure from my normal, sitting at home quietly working through school with my little brother for company. Now I’m attending six lectures a day, participating in a family group and interactive group, and sharing a bedroom with four other girls. 

The amazing thing is that I don’t feel uncomfortable. Beyond the initial nervousness, I have been able to cope with the drastic difference, and go beyond coping—I’m loving it here. From the first day I was making friends, and right now I have a great crowd I enjoy being around, but more importantly there are several people I feel I can confide in, whom I trust to share my joys and struggles with. I’ve learned to sit with strangers in the dining hall, strike up conversations with the least encouragement, and participate in just about every possible activity.

Me and my dear roommates!

Maybe you think I’m just different. You could never burst right in and start making friends like that, you’ve never been able to. Well let me tell you, I’m no social butterfly. It’s a struggle for me to speak sometimes, and it’s never easy to open up to a stranger.

Homeschooling was actually a great preparation for another form of education. Growing up I was forced to make friends with all kinds of people, kids near my age as well as adults and the elderly. That stretched me in vital ways, and now I feel comfortable with a wide variety of personalities. Doing college studies at home helped me get used to deadlines and the basics of essay writing, which is making the transition even easier.

The hardest part about "real school" is balancing social time with study time. Hanging out with friends has never been something that interfered with my schoolwork, but now there's a jam-packed schedule and so many great things to do. If you're getting ready to graduate from homeschool to something different, give some thought to how you will balance your social life and your homework. Both are important, and one shouldn't be sacrificed for another, but they need to each have their place.

I'm still figuring this thing, out, but it's a wonderful experience so far. Have you experienced some other kind of schooling, maybe a few years at a private or public school, or college? What was the hardest thing to get used to?

How to Get More Out of the Bible

I have to admit, Bible study is a struggle for me. I know that it’s important—if my Creator and Savior is going to bother to give me a message the least I can do is read it—but studying, comprehending, and applying God’s Word isn’t easy.

Here I’ve set out 10 ways to get more out of the Bible. I’ve gleaned these from personal experience as well as older and wiser Christians. While I’m still struggling, these tips have helped me learn more from the scriptures, rather than glazing over or forgetting what I’ve “studied” ten minutes after closing the book.    

1. Dedicate to Daily Study: Reading scripture has to be a priority and a habit, or it will inevitably slip down the to-do list. Yesterday I made phone calls, played around with my new Nexus 7, exercised, and then remembered my morning devotions at about 3:30 PM. When I finally plopped down with my Bible I felt burned out.  If I just think it would be nice to read some scripture, that won't be enough. I've got to make a concrete resolution, set myself a goal, and then strive to meet it. The daily discipline of getting out a devotional book, writing notes, and spending a few minutes in prayer has been good for me. It would help if I could always do it at the same time of day—but I’m working on that.
2. Get God’s Word Firsthand: It can be unwise—or downright dangerous—to delve into books about the Bible without a firm grounding in the Bible itself. Who knows what you're being spoon-fed if you haven't studied the real, unfiltered thing? Sure, it's easier to take someone else's word for it, but Paul praised the Bereans in Acts 17:11 who “examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true.” If you haven’t yet read the Bible through in its entirety, I would encourage you to do so now. I highly recommend reading through the Bible in a year.
3. Devotions and Commentaries: On the flipside of #2, giants of the faith have so much to offer us. Reading works by Elizabeth Elliot, C.S. Lewis, James Dobson, Eric and Leslie Ludy, Ravi Zacharias, Max Lucado and many others can revolutionize your perspective on verses you’ve been reading your whole life! Lately I've been loving The Indwelling Life of Christ by Major W. Ian Thomas.
4. Feed Constantly: Sometimes it takes an inundation of scripture to break through the absorbing chaos of everyday life. If you fill your day with spiritual books, newsletters, blogs (like this one!), films, and music, you’ll find yourself digging deeper than you’d ever dreamed. This also gives you the benefit of other perspectives. For example, I'm from conservative background but I regularly listen to podcasts from a more charismatic church. Seeing scripture from another perspective has expanded my spiritual horizons, and drawn me closer to the Lord.
5. Write It Down: For tactile learners and writers, this could make a huge difference in your Bible study. Take notes during sermons, keep a scripture journal where you can record insights, or write notes in the margins (I love the freedom of my wide margin Bible, where I have room to scribble down thoughts right beside the verses).
6. Try Bite-Size: Dietrich Bonhoeffer had a habit of concentrating on small doses of scripture. He gave his seminary students 12 verses to study for six days, half an hour a day. They weren’t allowed to use commentaries or read the verses in their original languages. The point was to deal with the scripture as if it were God’s words spoken directly to them. I have studied a single verse for 15 minutes, taking notes along the way, and found it surprisingly rewarding. Maybe you just take five or ten minutes, but try it out and see what you discover.
7. Know Your Roots: Learning the definition of biblical words in their original language could change how you see them forever. A free resource like Strong's Concordance can reveal amazing facets in the simplest Greek and Hebrew words. You might also get a book about life in Bible times, to better understand parables, illustrations, and cultural oddities. Why were city gates significant? What was unique about the cedars of Lebanon? My NIV Quest Study Bible has answered many an itching question.
8. Partner With Others: The Christian walk really is about relationships. If you have some likeminded friends, family, or church members, you might consider joining or creating a group Bible study. I’ve found that sometimes my deepest fears and questions are cleared up just by talking them out with someone else.
9. Memorize It: By internalizing God's Word to the level of memorization, we’re able to whip it out when we need it most. Mary Kate has given some great suggestions in her post, "5 Ways to Memorize Scripture."

I know that there are many, many more techniques. 

How do you get the most out of your Bible study?

Original Photo: Untitled, a photo by db Photography | Demi-Brooke on Flickr.

5 Lessons from Volunteering

It may be selfless, but you could be surprised at the amazing things you will learn and the ways you can benefit from volunteering.

We homeschoolers usually keep busy, but most of us have plenty of time to dedicate to worthwhile activities (all that time public-schoolers spend waiting for the bus, changing classes, eating lunch, waiting for the bus again—we actually get to spend it doing something meaningful!). If you're a Christian homeschooler, that could mean that you spend a lot of time volunteering. I haven't done too much “official” volunteering in my life, but there are several activities I've participated in that have made a big difference—not only in other peoples' lives, but in my life as well.

Here are five lessons I've learned from my volunteering experiences:

1. The little things are powerful. "Volunteering” probably brings to mind images of Mother Theresa in the gutters or firefighters saving lives, but the truth is that you can help others in tiny ways as well as big ones. Remember “the widow’s mite.” One small thing I do regularly is serve drinks at our church's potluck lunch. People come through the line with plates heaped high with delicious food, and they would have to do some fancy juggling to pour themselves water or iced tea, holding up the line. So I station myself at the drink counter and pour everyone's drink of choice (trying to memorize everyone’s preference is a challenge!). It's not a big job, but people are grateful.
2. Remember who you're doing it for. My friends and I love to sing, and for several years we’ve had a tradition of singing Christmas carols at nursing homes. Last year I really thought it was going to be a disaster. Our two sopranos were sick, and they happened to be the ones who knew the harmony to all our pieces. It seemed impossible to sing anything but our most basic songs, and I actually got into quite a huff. I was miserable until someone reminded me, "Remember who we are doing this for." That should have snapped me out of it, but it really took quite a while to convince myself that it didn't matter how badly we sounded or how many friends would be missing out. The whole point was to encourage and gladden the hearts of the sick and elderly. It wasn't about me, it was about glorifying Christ through my service. And you know what? That was an amazing day.
3. There is power in numbers. It can be easy for us volunteer-minded people to try going it alone. Sometimes I feel that no one can do a job as well as I can, so I try to do everything myself. But that's just exhausting, and it isn't at all the best way to serve the Lord. I learned a bit about the power of numbers while organizing our town's Christmas program a couple of years ago. It was a big task that felt overwhelming, but so many people pitched in—I made new friends, utilized other peoples' gifts and suggestions, and the program was infinitely better than if I'd tried to do it all by myself.
4. Fear can be overcome. Public speaking comes naturally to me, and I genuinely enjoy it, but that doesn't mean that I don't get the shakes before making a presentation for Compassion International. This weekend I am supposed to speak to a group of about 40 strangers at a local church and tell them about Compassion’s work in releasing children from poverty in Jesus' name, and how they can be a part of it. I worry about how well I'm preparing and if I'll be able to do everything correctly, but I also know that Philippians 4:13 is true. This is God's deal, not mine. If the Holy Spirit doesn't speak through me, then I'm not going to be effective anyway. I just have to do my best and leave the result up to the Lord.
5. Sacrifice leads to reward. Once every couple of weeks I will drive to a nearby nursing home and chat with an elderly friend of mine for an hour or more, updating her on what is going on recent events, swapping stories, and generally trying to brighten her day. It's enjoyable, but sometimes I find it hard to get up out of my comfortable chair and go visit her. Doing it regularly, however, has done wonders for my self-discipline, and has rewarded me at least as much as it has helped her. Sometimes she encourages me, sometimes I encourage her, sometimes we laugh together or share a meal. Whatever we do, I usually go away feeling happier and closer to the Lord. 

Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.

- Luke 6:38

How do you volunteer? What lessons has it taught you?

Photo Credit: Wasserglas, a photo by 96dpi on Flickr.

Reading List for Homeschool High Schoolers

If you're being homeschooled through high school, one of your greatest anxieties (fears? terrors?) might be college. Sure, it sounds exciting, but it's also intimidating, isn't it? After all, universities are designed for kids who have been in public schools their entire lives, and it's possible that what we've learned at home just won't cut it in the "real world."

Well, as a homeschool graduate who has also earned a bachelor's degree in English, I'm here to give you some solid advice that should make you feel a lot better.

Student, a photo by CollegeDegrees360 on Flickr.

First, breathe. 

It's OK, you can have confidence in your parents, your curriculum, and your own abilities, and of course God. It's natural to be nervous about transitioning from home education to a public or private college, but it doesn't have to be a bumpy ride.

One thing that will help enormously is to be familiar with the books that you will be studying in-depth once you get to college. Since my major was in English I spent a lot of time reading and analyzing Non-Western literature, British literature, and American literature—a lot of books in other words. Though there were many that I had never read before, it helped that I was familiar with the classics and had been exposed to many of those works.

Though there can be no complete reading list for the college-bound student, here are some titles that I think you'll find very helpful to read (or at least get the CliffsNotes on) before striking out into the stormy waters of higher education. Even if you're not going to college, these are some of the most well-known books in the Western world and can broaden your horizons, deepening your insight and giving you some common ground with your public schooled friends. 

Disclaimer: Not all of these books have a Christian worldview, or are even very pleasant to read, but they offer valuable opportunities for testing your faith and applying what you have learned. If your parents don't want you to read some of them, by all means don't. There are many other valuable reads that I have left out, but this should get you started. 

How many of these have you already read?

• The Norton Anthologies: These collections of excerpts and whole works are invaluable to the serious student. Poetry, Drama, Nonfiction, stories from the Middle East, Latino or Australian literature—you could spend decades reading these anthologies alone. Old editions can be bought fairly cheaply on sites like eBay and Amazon. 
• Aldous Huxley: Brave New World
• Amy Tan: The Joy Luck Club
• Angelou, Maya: I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings 
• Arthur Miller: Death of a Salesman
• Benjamin Franklin: The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin
• Charles Dickens: Great Expectations, A Tale of Two Cities, David Copperfield
• Charlotte Brontë: Jane Eyre
• Chinua Achebe: Things Fall Apart
• Edith Wharton: The House of Mirth, The Age of Innocence
• Ernest Hemingway: A Farewell to Arms, The Old Man and the Sea and perhaps The Sun Also Rises
• F. Scott Fitzgerald: The Great Gatsby and perhaps Tender is the Night
• Franz Kafka: Metamorphosis 
• Frederick Douglass: Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass
• George Orwell: Animal Farm, 1984
• Harriet Beecher Stowe: Uncle Tom's Cabin 
• Henry James: Daisy Miller: A Study.
• Herman Melville: Moby Dick and "Bartleby the Scrivener"
• James Fenimore Cooper: The Last of the Mohicans, The Pioneers, The Deerslayer (then read Mark Twain's "Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offenses")
• Jane Austen: Pride and Prejudice, Emma, and perhaps Sense and Sensibility and Persuasion
• John Steinbeck: The Grapes of Wrath, Of Mice and Men, and perhaps The Pearl
• Joseph Conrad: Heart of Darkness
• Kate Chopin: The Awakening 
• Leo Tolstoy: Anna Karenina. War and Peace
• Mark Twain: Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, The Adventures of Tom Sawyer and perhaps A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court and Innocents Abroad
• Mary Shelley: Frankenstein
• Nathaniel Hawthorne: The Scarlet Letter and The House of the Seven Gables
• Ralph Ellison: The Invisible Man
• Richard Wright: Native Son
• Robert Frost,        Ezra Pound, Carl Sandburg, William Carlos Williams, Langston Hughes: Selected poems
• Shakespeare: Romeo and Juliet, Hamlet, Macbeth, Twelfth Night, and others
• T.S. Eliot: "The Waste Land"
• Tennessee Williams: A Streetcar named Desire, Glass Menagerie 
• Upton Sinclair: The Jungle 
• Virginia Woolf: To the Lighthouse
• Walt Whitman: Leaves of Grass
• Washington Irving: "Rip Van Winkle"
• Willa Cather: My Ántonia
• William Faulkner: As I Lay Dying, The Sound and the Fury
• Zora Neale Hurston: Their Eyes Were Watching God

Besides my personal college experience, these are some helpful resources I referenced:

• thehomescholar.com
• goodreads.com
• homeschool-rewards.com
• homeschool-rewards.com
• homeworktips.about.com
• als.lib.wi.us

A Daughter with some Vision

The point of this post is to light a fire in your belly.

Bored, a photo by ZapTheDingbat on Flickr.

Disclaimer: This isn't against stay-at-home daughters. In fact, I'm a stay-at-home daughter and mean to keep it that way.


I'm guessing you're a girl who's probably either in high school or not long graduated. Your life lies before you, full of opportunities and plenty of anxious questions--now what am I supposed to do? 

This definitely isn't unique to Christian homeschool girls. I've never met anyone who knew from birth exactly what they wanted to do with their lives. However, we have a unique worldview that will very possibly shunt us in the direction of stay-at-home daughterhood. As Titus 2 says, young women are "to be sensible, pure, workers at home...." So it makes sense that we would hang out at Mom and Dad's house until our knight in shining armor rides by, right? (More on that in my post, Waiting for Marriage...or Not.)

What does that look like for you? Learning to cook, sew, or write? Training for some career? Investing time in a ministry? These are good and worthy things, but there is one thing that we must aim at above all others:

"An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband." - 1 Corinthians 7:34

Now I know that you skimmed over that verse because you've read it approximately 539 times. Go back and read it again. Good. If you're an unmarried woman, you must be

• concerned about the Lord's affairs,
• devoted to the Lord in body,
• and devoted to the Lord in spirit.

I know from personal experience and from observing friends that it is so easy to lapse into visionlessness while living at home. It's easy to live under your parents' roof, clean the house, make dinner, babysit, take sporadic French lessons, and forget that this is a time of preparation, searching, and pursuit.

Clear Vision., a photo by kelsey_lovefusionphoto on Flickr.

Imagine that you are getting married/moving out/starting a career/etc. in 6 months. 

Does that thought kick you into high gear? 

Kick it in now. Pursue God's vision for your life now. Get concerned about His affairs now. Get down on your knees and seek His face now.

Don't you dare settle for anything less than passionate devotion to the One who holds the thread of your life in His hands and loves you with a furious love. Don't you dare waste this valuable time of daughterhood by ignoring the hand He has laid on you.

How can you overcome inertia and pursue extreme devotion to Jesus Christ while living as a daughter at home? How will you begin today?

5 Lessons from Death

I have nothing to fear from death, only lessons to learn.

Photo Credit: Beni Ishaque Luthor via Compfight cc

In the last three weeks my family has been rocked by two unexpected deaths. First my Uncle Gerald, who was doing poorly in a nursing home but might have lingered for years, was called Home after a stroke. Then my great-grandfather died, when everyone expected my great-grandmother to go first.

Experiences like that make you look at death in new ways, examine your reactions to it, and try to make sense of things.

You and I are young, and our faith is in Jesus. The grave has been conquered, and our lives lie ahead of us. How does death touch our lives besides leaving painful holes? Is it possible to carry more away from a loved one's passing than the cliché "live like you were dying" (which is a high-pressure, practically impossible sentiment anyway)?

After looking back on the deaths of five precious people in my life, I've gleaned five lessons that death. Perhaps they will help you somehow, whether or not you have ever lost someone near to you.

1. Never lose an opportunity to bless others. Every day brings our loved ones one step closer to leaving us forever. This isn't morbid, it's just facing the facts, and it urges us to treat everyone as if they had a fatal illness. Because they do. Take time out of your schedule, money out of your bank account, and love out of your heart to spend on others.
2. Don't ignore people "on the fringe." A few years ago my 19 year old friend lost his life in a car accident. We weren't very close, hardly more than acquaintances, but that was mainly because I kept him at arm's length. He was "different" than me, so instead of breaking through boundaries and befriending this young man, I let him die and leave me with so many regrets. 
3. Value the elderly. Last spring I lost one of my dearest friends, a 98 year old man named Byron who was like a third grandfather. He taught me so much with his love, wisdom, and insight, but only because I spent time with him. If I hadn't visited him once a week for several years, he would have been just another old man, but because I took the time to get to know him, I was blessed beyond my imagination.
4. Invest in people, not stuff. My great-grandfather was a dear man, beloved by many, but his last years were marred by a spirit of selfishness. He hoarded his money for no apparent reason. He wouldn't even repair the roof (which was falling in on him and his wife) because it would cost too much. He wouldn't get rid of his junk because he hoped to get some money out of it. Where were his priorities? "But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal" (Matthew 6:20). We all love our "stuff," but it's gone too far when our money and possessions get in the way of the people around us.
5. See what a good life looks like. I don't know about you, but I tend to set incredibly high standards for myself. When I die I want important people at my funeral, I want awards and special ceremonies, I want to be remembered as an amazing person. But when my Uncle Gerald died I realized that even though he might have been unremarkable, he lived up to what Jesus calls each of us to be: someone who loves God and loves people. Everyone called Gerald "a good man," and the truth is that if we accomplish that much in our lifetimes, we can consider ourselves successful.

What has been your experience with death? What did you learn from it?

Live Your God-Sized Dream

New Year's Resolutions are often condemned for being too ambitious. Run a marathon. Read a book per week. Lose 100 lbs. There are plenty of reasons that people don't keep their resolutions, and Mary Kate did a fantastic job of highlighting some major ones in "Resolution Solution," so I won't rehash those. What I will do is give you one big reason why people sometimes don't keep their resolutions:

Original photo by Kr. B. on Flickr.     

They are not sold-out, on-fire, bet-the-farm passionate about a dream.

If your resolution, dream, goal, whatever, is not compelling-- ensnaring your mind, heart and spirit until you can't think about or imagine anything else--then you're almost doomed to failure.

Some people "diet" for years.
They "quit" smoking twenty times.
Some people half-finish novel after novel.
Others get one closet organized and then burn out.

Why did they fail? Perhaps it was because they were too ambitious, but I think it's because they were pursuing dreams that were too small, too petty to catch their imagination and hold their focus. What do I mean by that?

Losing weight is a small dream. People "lose weight" every day. But being able to fit into your favorite pair of jeans, looking at yourself in the mirror and knowing that you're being a good steward of God's temple, and feeling beautiful and confident is an inspiring dream.

Getting organized is dull. Cleaning junk out of your life so that you can live a freer, more God-centered existence without the clutter of life bringing you down is an inspiring dream.

Reading more books is vague and uninteresting. Reading two books a month that will bring you closer to God, enrich your mind, and bring you into unknown and beautiful realms is an inspiring dream.

Unless you believe it, you cannot achieve it (click to tweet that). And when I say "believe," I mean it in the most visceral sense, with everything you are.

Holley Gerth, one of my favorite Christian bloggers, is always talking about a God-sized dream. She is passionate about helping other women come alive and live the life they were designed to live. "God-size" does not necessarily mean "big." It means perfect for you. It's the thing that you would do in 2013 if there were no barriers--no problems with money, transportation, family, lifestyle, etc.--a dream God created just for you.

What is your dream?

I'm still trying to figure mine out. It has something to do with 2-3 months in Europe this year, writing as a profession, and volunteering with amazing ministries. But what it comes down to at the core is making life an intimate adventure with God.

How can you transform your uninspiring New Year's Resolutions into a God-sized dream?

'Twas the Day After Christmas

This week I have enjoyed some well earned post-Christmas relaxation, lounging around the house and thinking over my goals for 2013. But maybe you have not been so lucky. There's always a little letdown after the holidays, isn't there? You might be back at work or laboring away on school. Perhaps Christmas wasn't all that you hoped it would be. The bright lights, cookies, tinsel, and family members are gone, replaced by a quiet house, eggnog withdrawal, and wintry lonesomeness.

bitter, a photo by kelsey_lovefusionphoto on Flickr.

If you're feeling the blues this week (or at any time, really), here are 5 ways to get a spring back in your step before the new year:

1. Are you Disappointed? It's easy to work up unrealistic expectations. For me, this Christmas was just a little less than I'd wished for because our family group was so small; many loved ones were missing. While it's tempting to relive uncomfortable times and dwell on them, the Bible shows us a better way. "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7). Those old expectations will never be met, so take a deep breath and cast it up to the Father. Then wait for His peace.
2. Do you feel Lonely? Maybe you got together with loved ones over Christmas and now it's just you and your family—as usual. Try livening things up a little! It doesn't have to be a big deal, just pick your clothes up off the floor and invite a couple of girlfriends over for a mug of tea, go on a shopping trip (take advantage of the after-Christmas sales), or check out the nearest bowling alley or ice skating rink.  
3. Did you Fail? I don't know how many times I told myself that I was not going to eat another slice of cheesecake, but it rarely worked. If you overindulged, stopped exercising, or forgot to send a card, then you could be feeling pretty upset at yourself. Here's my advice (and Paul's): don't beat yourself up. Philippians 3:13-14 says, "...one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." You have an upward call, and there is a prize at the end. Forget what lies behind and look at today—and only today. 
4. Are you Bored? Now that the holidays are over, it's back to the daily grind, right? Not necessarily! A little break from the ordinary can give us some perspective on our everyday lives. When I got back from a family vacation in September I was excited about exploring our local area like a tourist; the vacation stimulated my thoughts and helped me see things differently. Get creative: how can you put a little Christmas spirit into every week of the year? Playing music through the house, making goodies for friends, watching favorite films with the family...what else can you come up with?  
5. Do you Dread the New Year? You might not realize how powerful your thoughts actually are. So many times we create bad situations because we expect them to be bad. If you're already anticipating breaking your 2013 resolutions, you've set yourself up for unhappiness. Think of all the ways you can celebrate this fresh start. The slate will be marked clean—you'll have another chance to make a difference and enjoy all the blessings God has for you! 

How are you going to enjoy this week?

The F Word

This is a polarizing word, one that I instinctively cringe at. It's not taboo in Christian circles, in fact it is trumpeted from the rooftops and plastered all over pretty blogs covered in roses with sweet hymns playing in the background.

Femininity. 

It wasn't pushed on me as a child, but I have a cautionary tale about Christian homeschool girls who did have this word rammed down their throats from an early age. I’ll tell you the story of "Lucy," an amalgamation of 2 or 3 real girls.

Lucy was something of a tomboy. As soon as she could toddle around, she was playing in the dirt, fording streams, and mauling small animals. Her mother despaired. She longed for her girl to be a perfect little lady, a good example to other children. So she did what made sense to her: she shoved Lucy into pink dresses with puffed sleeves.

Original Photo: Pink Tutus, a photo by rustman on Flickr.

Lucy hates puffed sleeves. Ever tried to climb trees or chase cattle in a skirt? Not the easiest thing in the world. Besides that, puffy dresses and lace weren't to Lucy's personal taste (fashion ideas develop early, don't they?). But these things were "feminine," and God wants little girls to be feminine, right? So Lucy suffered in silence.

Now Lucy is in her twenties, and what is the last thing in the world she wants to be? You guessed it. Feminine. She's cut her hair short, bought some black shirts, and has nothing but jeans in her closet. Nothing, that is, except for one pink skirt. That's what she wears to church on Sundays. 

Why does she wear that skirt to church? It's a holdover from youth. She has the idea that this is what you're supposed to do. It’s somehow "holier," and should be worn at least once a week. She wears that skirt because her mother wants her to. The church wants her to. Maybe God wants her to.

What is true femininity? It has a lot to do with cultural norms,  with what is traditionally considered appropriate to women. The Biblical definition is 99% about character (as Devin pointed out, you can be feminine as a duchess or a cowgirl), and almost nothing to do with clothing. The Bible has very little to say about how women should dress (1 Timothy 2:9-10 is a rare and somewhat vague exception). 

Some girls like Lucy are shamed into flouncy clothes they dislike, others abandon femininity altogether as soon as they grow up. Plenty of girls—many of you, I'm sure—have no problem with pink and dresses (I certainly don't). There is nothing wrong about being feminine. God calls women to look, speak, and act like women, but I cringe at the word “femininity” because of so many bad examples.

We wade in dangerous waters when we put strict limits on what is and what is not feminine.

Here is the warning I feel led to give: be careful when you define what is "feminine" for another girl, especially when it comes to clothing. It is so easy to injure someone else’s spirit with judgmental words. More than likely, someone who is already set against femininity will run in the opposite direction and you’ll end up doing more harm than good.

Are we called to a high standard of holiness? Yes. 
Is it sometimes hard to be feminine in a culture of gender equality? Yes. 
Should we encourage other girls to act in a godly way? Yes. 
Must we be careful about the extra-biblical rules and regulations that we put down concerning dress and attitude? I believe so.

Have you or someone you know had an experience similar to Lucy’s? What is your working definition of femininity?

Viruses and Gratitude

You take it for granted. I know you don’t mean to. It’s natural.

When was the last time you jumped into the air with joy for being able to read?

When did you cry for happiness at the thought of three square meals a day?

How many times do you fall on your knees and praise God for the Internet?

Two days ago I was vomiting up my guts. I won’t get too graphic, but I was up half the night and my stomach felt like someone had ripped it out, chewed it up, and then stuffed it back in with a plunger. Today I feel amazing, completely normal.

Wait a minute.

How often do we hear those two words used together? Amazing + Normal.  

Original Photo: Tears, a photo by Έλενα Λαγαρία on Flickr.

We all forget. The monotonous cycle of life numbs us into accepting the status quo. We’re always getting used the present and looking toward the future. 

The only reason I’m so thankful for a quiet stomach is because it has been unquiet. The only reason I praise God for flexible muscles is because my body has been aching. The only reason I’m grateful for my strength is because I’ve been lying around on horizontal surfaces like a limp dishrag. 

And that brings me to today’s shocking revelation—

We cannot appreciate our blessings until we have suffered.

I don’t know the answer to the immortal problem of pain, but let me ask you this: the things you are especially grateful for right now, would you value them so highly if you had never been in danger of losing them?

We can glibly write out a couple dozen reasons to give thanks, but the anthems of gratitude that come spontaneous to our lips in the silence of the night, when there is no one but God to hear, those are the sacrifices of praise that must make God’s heart thrill.

Remember this in the good times. 

When everything is going right, when life has settled into a gentle rhythm,  remember that suffering paves the way to gratitude. Take this moment to thank the Lord for all those things you might have lost, all those things you might still lose. If you don’t give thanks for this second, you’ll never get another chance.

This recent battle with a  stomach virus has forced me to mull these things over. Maybe you’ve had a similar experience. What are you taking for granted? Do you have any suggestions for how we can be grateful for the things we think are “normal”?