Of Love and Loss

Today around noon, my sweet old yellow lab, Bonnie, passed away. This is a day I've been dreading for a while as I watched her grow older and weaker and watched her warm brown eyes cloud up. I remember when my family first adopted her. she had been abused by her previous owners and she was shy and skiddish, flinching at everything we did. Once she gained our trust, she was the sweetest, most affectionate dog anyone could ever ask for. I'll miss her dearly.

My dear sweet Puppy dog.

Isn't it amazing how even in times like this, God still makes Himself known and evident? Even amongst tears, I felt the hand of God against my heart, giving me peace. Even in loss, even in our darkest, hardest moments, God is there helping us fight through it. And to help us overcome our situation. We may never forget our sorrow, but God promises comfort and His peace to the broken-hearted.

" Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Loss is something everyone has experienced at one time or another. Maybe  your loss looks like a loved one passing. an opportunity missed. A word regretted. A situation you can't forget. Someone who robbed you of something precious. The sin that shackles you.

Loss comes in all forms. But no matter what your loss, our Lord promises us to be there in the midst of our hurt, our sorrow, our pain. 

I've heard it said that how we deal with our grief reveals our true character. If we truly trust in the Lord, we will not be afraid to hand the situation to Him. We may be upset beyond words. We may be angry at God. But if we still truly believe and have undying faith in Him, He'll take the situation . He can overcome!

Whatever your loss may be or whatever it may look like, our Savior is greater than our pain could ever be! Praise the Lord! Even when bad things happen, Life is still filled with beautiful things. Remember that even when the situation is hard, life is still beautiful. I encourage you to take your pain and turn it into praise! In the midst of our pain, it takes true spiritual strength to see beauty in the pain. Life in the suffering. Strength in the tears.

"Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have - life itself." - Walter Anderson 

Beyond the Labels: The Dating VS. Courting Debate

If you've grown up in a Christian environment, you're most likely well-aware of the dating vs. courting debate. When it comes to love, romance, and relationships, there tends to be a lot of confusion in the Christian community... some common questions I've heard and that I've had are:

- Should I date or should I court?
- When is the best time to date/court?
- How involved should my parents be?
- How physically intimate should a couple be   
   before marriage?

and of course the oh-so-popular question:

- What IS this courting business even about anyway!?

Before we look further at these questions, we need to dig into the Word about what God says about relationships. Part of why the church is confused as to what's okay is because the Bible does not specifically outline "courting is better than dating" or "thou shalt not date until thee is 21." But from what the Bible does say, we an paint a pretty detailed picture of what our relationships should look like: 

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?" 2 Corinthians 6:14

"Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." 1 Corinthians 7:1 - 4 

"Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body." 1 Corinthians 6:18

These verses are just the beginning of God's layout for good relationships.

And although the Bible does not flat-out give us an answer, when we look at verses like this, we see God's opinion on the dating/courting debate - neither one is the right way to go about relationships. 

Okay, okay, don't have a cow. Y'al may be confused by this statement, but let me elaborate. When we look at this issue as an argument in which to choose sides, we are missing the point - the main question at hand: is my relationship honoring to God? 

There's no formula or process that's more God-honoring than another - in fact, love shouldn't have a formula or process at all. Every situation is different.

I don't believe that courting is wrong, I don't believe that dating is wrong, I don't believe that kissing before marriage is wrong, or that having a relationship before the age of 20 is wrong. I believe those things because if a couple is 100% focused on God and what honors Him in their relationship, then they can't go wrong!

Putting labels and formulas and man-made rules on relationships is wrong. Sure, everyone can have certain standards for themselves, and the Bible definitely makes it pretty clear that some lines are not to be crossed until marriage under any circumstance (i.e. premarital sex or overt physical/emotional involvement). But our standards should not cause us to compromise God's real plan for us! If we are so hooked on not dating until we're 20, and we turn down every man that proposes interest until that point, we're being unwise and we could be missing out because of our selfishness. We have turned "waiting" - something that should be God-honoring - into stubbornness and selfishness. Instead, we should enjoy our time of singleness while we have it, and simply be ready whenever God may bring someone into your life. Don't simply turn someone down because of age, or situation, but in every situation, seek what God's will is for you in this season of life. When we simply pray about everything, and stop sticking to our silly list of rules, it gives us freedom. And the best thing is, we honor our Father, the true Lover of Our Souls.

If you're already in a relationship, then the same thing applies. Simply be ready for whatever God has for you. You're not compromising standards, you're simply being free and being ready and I promise you, you will have a fulfilled and pure relationship, whether you marry that person or not.

I encourage you to always question your motives for your actions in a relationship, make sure to always pray over everything, be ready for whatever God has for you, whenever, seek advice and counsel from your parents and pastors ALWAYS, and remember that love is not a formula.

So you may decide through prayer and seeking counsel that dating seems to be the best choice for you, or that courting seems to be an easier situation for staying pure for you, but regardless of your decisions, we need to learn to look beyond the labels and start looking at relationships for what they really are: a way to love others as best we can and to the glory of the King.

    

Thoughts on Abortion

So this is a very important topic, one I am certain that I am not qualified to speak about. Therefore, I'll leave the actual arguing against it to the people who know what they're doing over at abort73 .
This story and what I've concluded from it, however, is mine.

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April 12, 2006. A happy, growing family of eight is expecting their seventh child, due in September. They recently purchased a bright red fifteen passenger van, which they named "Big Red" (for obvious reasons) so as to accommodate all of them. They are very excited, from the oldest to the youngest, for "Peanut's" arrival.

The kids and dad are working out in the garden while mom is at her doctor's appointment. When the phone rings, the blonde eight-year-old runs to answer it and bring it to her daddy.
"Get Daddy," her mom's strangely urgent voice commands.
After a few minutes, the dad breaks the news to the children. "Peanut is dead."

The world stops.
What could this mean?
How could a little baby, not even born, die?
To me, it made no sense.
At eight years old, I believe I was too young to even really grieve properly.
My great-grandmother had died recently, but that was different. I had known her. I had talked to her. I had loved her.
I hadn't really loved "Peanut," in the same way, I suppose.
But it hurt. A lot. It still does sometimes.

On April 15th, 2006, the day before Easter, my mother delivered her dead child, my little brother.
He was eighteen weeks old.
We named him Joseph, after a man in the Old Testament who claimed the promise of Romans 8:28 for himself. We trust that although his death was a terrible thing, God would use it for good. We also had hope through Easter that year, that death is nothing to fear now that our risen Savior has conquered it. I look forward, Lord willing, to someday meeting my little brother in heaven.
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I have pictures of him, you know.
At only eighteen weeks, he had a little nose.
Little toes.
Little fingers.
Little eyelids.
He fit into my dad's hand.
And yes, I firmly believe that he was alive. He was a human being, just like you and me.
I may not be a scientist, or a doctor, and I don't claim to be really knowledgeable at all about this topic.
But to look at his little face, the face of a fetus, and say, "If he's going to have a bad life, if his mother doesn't want him, if he was never expected or wanted by anyone in the first place, if his family will have a hard time caring for his handicap, then he doesn't deserve to live. He's not human yet, anyway."

Excuse me? 

You can't honestly be telling me that I am any more human than that little boy, that I have more of a right to live than my little brother simply because I have already been born. You can't be telling me that he's not a person yet simply because he hasn't yet taken his first breath. I believe that Joseph was a person, even in his  eighteen short weeks of life.
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     "Like toddler and adolescent, the terms embryo and fetus do not refer to nonhumans but to humans at various stages of development. It is scientifically inaccurate to say a human embryo or a fetus is not a human being simply because he is at an earlier stage than an infant. This is like saying that a toddler is not a human being because he is not yet an adolescent. Does someone become more human as he gets bigger? If so, then adults are more human than children, and football players are more human than jockeys. Something nonhuman does not become human or more human by getting older or bigger; whatever is human is human from the beginning, or it can never be human at all. The right to live does not increase with age and size; otherwise, toddlers and adolescents have less right to live than adults." ---Randy Alcorn, quoted from his article "Abortion" in the April 2013 edition of Tabletalk Magazine.
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This is my story.
These are my thoughts.
What are yours?

Adjust Your Sails

A guest post by Jessica P.

Imagine you are on a boat. You are enjoying the sun shining down on you. You breath in deeply and relish the scent of salty freshness. You look out over glistening, azure waters and sigh blissfully. If only life could always be this good. But it can't. In the distance you see dark clouds looming and soon enough, you find yourself in the midst of a storm. Your thoughts are muddled. You are fearful as the wind picks up and angry that God has allowed you to be in this situation, and most of all, you feel completely lost. As the rain beats down against the deck of the boat, you look out from the helm and realize you can't see the shoreline anymore. Both the rain and your own tears have blurred your vision. Suddenly, it's clear that you no longer stand in a position of control.

Storm Sailor, a photo by Abaconda on Flickr.

There are so many experiences you can have in a boat. There are days when there is no wind and you are just floating out there, dead in the water. Then there are times when you get bashed around in the waves. And there are some days when the winds are constantly changing directions and you have to keep adjusting your sails in order to move forward.

Life is like that. Events and circumstances come up that we weren't expecting and we have to adjust. I have experienced many such instances in my life. Loved ones fall sick, finances grow tight, friendships fall apart... and through it all, it can be hard not to feel disheartened.

Taking Peter as an example (Matthew 14:28-30), we need to make sure that our focus isn't on the circumstances, but on God. When you focus on the waves, fear and worry tend to set in. But when we focus on God, we are able to find strength, courage, joy, love, and comfort.

Going through life's storms can be a humbling experience. However, remember this – in our weakness, God is glorified. When we can't fix things in our own strength, it only stands as a testimony of God's goodness.

Satan will try his hardest to rock the boat and make you drown. But take heart. God is on your side. Keep your eyes on your spiritual compass. Let God be your guide when you can't see ahead of you. And remember, above all, God loves you and wants what is best for you, even if it takes a storm to draw you closer to Him.

Jessica is a Christian young lady striving to serve God in everything she does. She is also a home-school graduate. She loves all sorts of crafts, but has a special place in her heart for all things writing. She blogs at Literary Pursuits, Young Homemakers, Meditations Of His Love, and Meditations Of His Love Daily. 

#foreveralone

Valentine's Day is one of the most lonely times of the year for me. As an extremely romantic person, I crave the excitement of receiving cute little cards or a pretty bouquet of roses. But, as a single girl with such high hopes, Valentine's Day becomes rather depressing. Have you been there? I know I'm not the only one who checks their inbox 7,000 times on Valentine's. :)

Last week, I was feeling lonely, boyfriend-less, and just in one of those moods where the only thing to soothe my soul was a good, hearty chat with my best buds. Bible study was exactly what I needed, and Jesus knew it too. Little did I know, he had prepared my friends' heart to share exactly what I needed to hear that night. A story that made this past Valentine's Day more exciting. This is the story that she shared. And I'll never forget it...

"When I was in college, I swore off boys because Jesus asked me to. In the back of my mind I still wanted to have that special person, but I knew He liked it just me and Him for a while. One evening, It was just me and Jesus, alone in my dorm. I was soaking in his presence and His joy filled my heart. I closed my eyes as He was talking to me - we talked about everything. As I sat there, an image jumped to my mind. It was a picture the most handsome, gorgeous man you've ever seen. Thinking it was my own imagination getting the better of me, I tried to shake it off and refocus, but my Jesus told me to wait and look closer. The man stood tall and handsome in a crisp, black tux. He stood ecstatic on my front porch, holding a dozen of the most beautiful roses you've ever seen. He looked right into my eyes, his beaming with overflowing love. At this point, I was thrilled, thinking that this was my future husband or something of the sort. I asked Him 'Who is this man?' And I'll never forget His reply 'That man is me. I wait for you every morning, holding the roses, waiting eagerly to see you. I stand at your door, eager to get just a glimpse of you, but longing so much to spend time with you. That man is me, and I LOVE YOU.'"

What a powerful story, right? When I heard it I couldn't stop squealing with girly giddy excitement (I even did a little happy dance). This was an exciting discovery, and I knew that Jesus wanted that for me too. So, who cares if that one boy likes us? We have the most dreamy perfect Man in the world, waiting to spend time with us every day. When we leave Valentine's Day feeling hurt or lonely, how much more hurt do you think our Savior is when we neglect Him? He is madly in love with us no matter what we do.

So, don't pass up the opportunity to take those dozen roses, every chance that you have, and let Jesus fill that longing we have for love. When He knows we are ready, the right man will come along, but no matter what, He will ALWAYS love us. He never gives up on us, He never fails us, and He'll never leave us #foreveralone.

We love because he first loved us. 

1 John 4:19 

...the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. 
Deuteronomy 31:6 

Winged Contentment

Yes, I am alone on Valentine's Night.

Literally, alone. I've got the place to myself. Just me, my laptop, and a steaming mug of chai spice tea.

February 14 is an excuse for a lot of things: giddy laughter, chocolate, hand-holding, candlelight, chocolate, self-pity, sad poetry, chocolate, and nasty little sugar hearts printed with trite phrases. I'd be prepared to see less of some things (except the chocolate), but one thing that I think we need to see more of (among singles and couples) is contentment.

This is something that I struggle with sometimes--who doesn't? Even the happily dating, betrothed, or wedded can have their share of pity parties.

What image does the word "contentment" bring up on the screen of your mind?

Maybe you see quiet diligence, working hard and successfully ignoring all the beautiful, but deceptive, luxuries of the world.

Maybe you see a spiritualist wacko doing a yoga pose and blissfully deluding himself into thinking the world is peachy keen.

Does that sound like a life with wings? 

Does that sound like the kind of life God means you to live?

What if "contentment" instead meant somebody who laughs into the face of loneliness, fear of rejection, unworthiness and grace-less-ness and sings boldly,

"God I trust you. I trust you with every ounce of blood and passion of my being that you will do abundantly more for me than I could ever imagine, and I seize with my hands and heart the magnificent blessings that you have prepared for me in this very second."

That's an attitude I could get behind. That's a brand of contentment that I could be a fan of.

Questions for comments: What is your idea of "contentment"? Is it positive or negative? Can you honestly say along with Paul, "I have learned the secret of being content"?