Thanking the Lord for Shattered Dreams

There have been many times in my life when I’ve not gotten what I wanted. I’ve had many desires and longings, dreams and plans that just haven’t worked out the way I would have wished. I’d like to say I’m always trusting and full of faith that God knows what He’s doing when I’ve had those upsets and disappointments, but I can’t. However, when I lose my focus and my faith wanes, He remains faithful. Somehow, each and every time I haven’t gotten my way, I have been able to look back and say “thank you” as I see the goodness and mercy of the Lord sparing me from my own desires.

Psalm 27:14, a photo by Sapphire Dream Photography on Flickr.

Right after a major upset of one of my dreams, someone close to me told me, “I know you’ll look back at this and be so grateful that this didn’t work out the way you wanted. You’ll see God at work in your life sparing you from something you’d later regret. Even though it hurts now, I know you’ll be grateful for this.” At the time, I didn’t really like this comment at all. Why would I thank God for destroying my desires and dreams once again?

I can smile now as I look back. Life is hard. God is good. And I am so grateful He spared me from my desires and longings once again. It’s good to be alive and I have so much to be grateful for in my life. When I’ve been a complete mess at times, He has remained faithful. I’m testimony to His abundant, unmerited graciousness and love.

Yes, my life isn’t going the way I foresaw it, but that’s okay. I have so many opportunities, so many plans, so many new dreams. God is filling my life every day with new challenges and new ideas. He is so faithful.

In those times when I was at my darkest, when I was crying myself to sleep wondering where my life was headed, I begged God to give me joy and peace and a new dream. He has fulfilled that and filled my life with good things.

This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. (Psalm 34:6, ESV)

I realize now that what I wanted so badly at the time was not at all what the Lord wanted for me at all. There were so many times when He was trying to gently grab my attention and show me the truth, but I stubbornly drove headlong to see my dream through. It took an unexpected jolt to make me see the light and even then, it took me awhile to admit the truth.

I can look back with regret on those times in my life when I stubbornly ignored God’s gentle promptings and instead strove to fulfill my desires. It’s easy to wallow in shame and regret, bitterness and remorse. However, if I confess my sins, He is faithful to forgive and to cleanse me from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9) He wipes my slate clean and gives me a new goal, new purpose, new desire.

Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. (Psalm 34:5, ESV)

Maybe one day I’ll learn to focus on the Giver of my dreams instead of the gift. Hopefully, I’ll learn to pursue Christ as I worship Him through the gifts and dreams He has given me. He’s spared me from myself and my own selfish desires once again and I can’t be more thrilled. I know my life would have been miserable if He would have granted me the desires of my heart. Thank you, Jesus for being faithful in my life yet again!

Because of Christ, I have new beginnings, a bright future, joy in my heart, and the promise of His help every day. May I purposefully live only to His glory and not ignore His gentle guiding Hand.

“I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” (Psalm 27:13-14, ESV)

 - This guest post was written by Melinda Ruth of MelindaBlogs.com, where you'll find her original scribbles, heartfelt praise, and hopeful dreams.

March 2013 Featured Girl: Melinda P.

This month's featured follower is a special girl named Melinda. She is the authoress of the blog Radiant Purity and True Beauty. She is a twenty-something homeschool graduate, living at home and enjoying farming, writing, government, cooking, creating recipes, and volleyball. She's a girl with big dreams, big faith, and big ideas.

Let's hear what she has to say.

Tell us a bit about yourself and your family. What is life like around your house?

I'm the youngest of seven children. Most of the older ones have left, except my Down's syndrome sister, Rachel and my brother just older than me, Jonathan. We live on a farm in Oklahoma. I was taught at home by my parents for my entire education, something I am truly grateful for! Life on a farm in Oklahoma has its daily ups and downs, joys and sorrows. Since we're a self-employed family, the "typical" moments of our days are doing farm chores, eating, cleaning, and sleeping...and the work we get done in between often differs from day to day. :-)

As a twenty-something single girl, how are you supporting yourself/preparing for the future?

I graduated from being home educated in 2007, but even before that I was working for my dad who is an accountant. During the tax season months (January through February), I do quite a bit of work for him. During the rest of the year, I help with bookkeeping and accounting for our business and family. I also have done some things around here on the farm (including milking) which brings me some income. My brother and I have also had a history book business which has taken us to several states for home education conferences. We're actually planning on putting it aside for now as we've both gotten too busy to give it the attention it needs.

Since I don't know what the future holds, I'm preparing both for married life if it is in God's plan for me, and for potential singleness if that is what I'm called to. Since my graduation, I've studied a lot about nutrition, which is a big interest for me (you can see some of my own recipes and insights from my nutrition study from my other blog, Healthy, Witty, and Whole. I occasionally blog there too). I've learned how to cook, bake, sew, and do some gardening. I've also been able to learn how to manage money and run a business, something is useful whether I'm going to be married or not! Right now, I'm praying about some options for starting a business of my own, something I'm nervous and excited about at the same time! :-)

From your blog it looks like you are passionate about Christian femininity. Do you have any help for us on how to be truly feminine from the inside out?

Femininity is one of my favorite things to talk about as you can probably tell! My views on femininity have changed so much over the past few years. One of the main things I've learned about femininity is that it isn't complicated as we usually make it out to be. It's not some legalistic moral code we have to follow. It's not even something we put on by ourselves. Femininity is something that we develop inside. It's the quiet beauty of a meek and gentle spirit mingled with the robust strength of a Proverbs 31 woman.True femininity for me is being a hard-working woman of God who trusts in Jesus to develop His humility, love, meekness, quietness and compassion in me. It's allowing myself to be changed from the loud, clamoring woman that Proverbs warns about to the Spirit-filled, meek and quiet woman of 1 Peter. Obviously, this will affect how I live out my days, how I dress, how I talk, what I listen to and watch, and how I relate to others. However, it all starts with me abandoning my ideals of womanhood and trading them for what Christ has called me to do...abide in Him. It's very freeing! :-)

Who is your favorite woman in the Bible?

Mary, the mother of Jesus is probably the woman I've learned the most from over the years from the Bible. Her example of humility and faithfulness despite very trying circumstances is a convicting inspiration to me. She had to know that she dealing with all manner of rejection and hate from her own people when she was found to be with child, and yet she willing to do what God had called her to do anyway. In fact, she magnified the Lord in spite of her trials! It's such a good example for my life. When I'm faced with rejection and trials, I want to be able to praise the Lord for His goodness in my life!

Visit Melinda's blog at radiantpurityandbeauty.blogspot.com, and follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest!

You can be featured too! Just drop us a line via our contact form to nominate yourself or another homeschool girl who is living large with Jesus.

A Daughter with some Vision

The point of this post is to light a fire in your belly.

Bored, a photo by ZapTheDingbat on Flickr.

Disclaimer: This isn't against stay-at-home daughters. In fact, I'm a stay-at-home daughter and mean to keep it that way.


I'm guessing you're a girl who's probably either in high school or not long graduated. Your life lies before you, full of opportunities and plenty of anxious questions--now what am I supposed to do? 

This definitely isn't unique to Christian homeschool girls. I've never met anyone who knew from birth exactly what they wanted to do with their lives. However, we have a unique worldview that will very possibly shunt us in the direction of stay-at-home daughterhood. As Titus 2 says, young women are "to be sensible, pure, workers at home...." So it makes sense that we would hang out at Mom and Dad's house until our knight in shining armor rides by, right? (More on that in my post, Waiting for Marriage...or Not.)

What does that look like for you? Learning to cook, sew, or write? Training for some career? Investing time in a ministry? These are good and worthy things, but there is one thing that we must aim at above all others:

"An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband." - 1 Corinthians 7:34

Now I know that you skimmed over that verse because you've read it approximately 539 times. Go back and read it again. Good. If you're an unmarried woman, you must be

• concerned about the Lord's affairs,
• devoted to the Lord in body,
• and devoted to the Lord in spirit.

I know from personal experience and from observing friends that it is so easy to lapse into visionlessness while living at home. It's easy to live under your parents' roof, clean the house, make dinner, babysit, take sporadic French lessons, and forget that this is a time of preparation, searching, and pursuit.

Clear Vision., a photo by kelsey_lovefusionphoto on Flickr.

Imagine that you are getting married/moving out/starting a career/etc. in 6 months. 

Does that thought kick you into high gear? 

Kick it in now. Pursue God's vision for your life now. Get concerned about His affairs now. Get down on your knees and seek His face now.

Don't you dare settle for anything less than passionate devotion to the One who holds the thread of your life in His hands and loves you with a furious love. Don't you dare waste this valuable time of daughterhood by ignoring the hand He has laid on you.

How can you overcome inertia and pursue extreme devotion to Jesus Christ while living as a daughter at home? How will you begin today?

The Resolution Solution

It’s 2013! God has blessed us with a whole new year brimming with possibilities. Just think of all of things we can do to bring glory to God this year! If you’re like me, you probably already have developed high hopes and exciting plans. 

With every new year, a feeling of a fresh start comes along with it. Everyone wants the relief of shaking off last year’s mistakes and starting new. Making resolutions is a very common practice for everyone around this time of year. However, for anyone who’s ever made resolutions, we’ve all struggled the hardest part - sticking to them.

Last year, I pulled out my journal and wrote down twenty-two things I’d like to do before the end of 2012. They ranged all the way from eating healthier to having an obedient spirit. You know how many of those I kept? Maybe three? Two?

The truth is I wasn’t able to keep any of them. I’m ashamed to say it, but it’s very true. I should have been able to stick to at least a few. So what went wrong? Why wasn’t I able to stick to my resolutions? God has shown me some mistakes I’ve made with making resolutions in the past. To help each other out, here is a list of some tips I’ve gained from a few years of resolution-ing that will help you to be able to better stick to your New Year’s plans.

1. Ask for God’s strength. Whether they’re simple tasks or whether they’ll take some guts to accomplish, we need our Savior’s help with our resolutions. If we try in our own strength, we will ultimately fail. As humans, we need encouragement and support - someone to cheer us on. Jesus is the best support system anyone can have, after all, he created you, didn’t he? :)

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” I Peter 5:7

2. Limit the number. Too many things to remember can be overwhelming. With twenty-two things to remember hanging over me at all times, my resolutions became stressful and even harder than they should have been. With resolutions, remember that less is more. Work on forming (or breaking) habits one at a time and each one will become easier over time.

“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:42

3. Take your time. Resolutions don’t happen overnight. They take work and a lot of patience. Don’t stress out if you mess up one day, or one week, whatever it may be. Everyone makes mistakes, but that doesn’t mean we should give up. Patience is a virtue (Galatians 5:22-23). Pray everyday as you work through them.

4. Stay Organized. Making a schedule or a checklist for your resolutions is a good way to keep track of your progress. Also, journaling about them can encourage you to keep up the good work, or to do a little better. 

“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” I Corinthians 14:33

5. Put God in the center. You’ve probably heard it said many times that God needs to go first in your life. I say, put Him in the center. If Jesus is the focus of everything you do, then you will be doing everything right and in a way that is honoring to Him. Put Jesus at the center of your quest to eat healthy (I Corinthians 6:19-20), or put Him on the path towards building a loving family (I Timothy 5:8). As my youth pastor put it, make your life look like:

Fam(Jesus)ily

Frie(Jesus)nds

Occup(Jesus)ation

If we long to please Him in everything (which is our purpose as Christians), then He will make our plans happen.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33

“Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” Proverbs 16:3

I hope this was helpful and I do hope you will use some of these to make your resolutions come alive! 

What are your New Year’s resolutions?

God-Given Passion

Those things that you are passionate about—reading, knitting, social media, music, horses, clothes, design—are these self-centered materialistic desires, or the whispers of God telling you how He wants you to pour out your life for Him?

If you’re like me, questions about the future plague you on an almost daily basis. My major dilemma over the past few years has been, “What will I do with my life? How does God want me to serve Him?”

Here comes the tension. It sounds “good” to be a missionary, but I've never felt a strong call to missions. It sounds “good” to be a doctor, but sickness and surgery doesn't appeal. It sounds “good” to be a social worker, diplomat, caretaker, foster mother, to take pleasure in going on youth missions or studying politics in order to make a positive difference in our world—but I don’t have a passion for any of those things.

LONDON :: telephone box, a photo by Crystian Cruz on Flickr.

What I do love is Great Britain. In fact, you might say that I’m obsessed with it. England in particular has always called to me. I love practically anything concerned with the country:  food, literature, people, history, architecture—it all enraptures me and makes my heart sing.

But it doesn't sound very holy. I have made plans to go on a lengthy (and expensive) trip to England next year, but I've wondered if that money would be better spent in an African orphanage, or urban outreach. It’s hard to think that something like my love for Britain could actually honor God.

 “Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” - Psalm 37:4

Something that I have learned from scripture, though, as well as from some fabulous mentors like Dan Miller and Donald Miller, is that God gave us passions. If you’re wanting God to speak to you, to say what He wants you to do with your life, how do you expect to hear Him? Are you listening for a voice? Looking for a message? Praying for a sign? Maybe He’s been speaking to you all your life and you've never even noticed.

He can speak to us through our passions.

God is not asking us to throw aside the things we love—He is the one who shaped our hearts in the first place! He is calling you and me to surrender our passions to His will, and then He can work through them to create something amazingly meaningful that we can find joy in. Have you heard of the two words that kill passion? Here they are: “ought to.” When choosing a ministry, career, or hobby, please don't do it out of a sense of sacrifice or obligation. Do it because it's fun. If you’re operating out of guilt, you’ll never be as effective as when your actions come from a spirit of love and genuine passion. Live your life story the way God wired you. 

How will God use my passion? I really don’t know. I've been writing a blog on Great Britain for several years, I've befriended a few Brits, and I plan to attend an English Bible college next spring. Perhaps something will come up while I’m there, I really don’t know. Until then, I’ll just submit my passion to God and watch what He does with it.

Do you feel like you have a selfish or useless passion? What are some ways God could use that for His glory?

Waiting For Marriage...or Not.

I don't think that God is calling you to wait for marriage. 

Waiting, a photo by h.koppdelaney on Flickr.

Now that I have your attention, I'll clarify. What picture comes to mind at the word "wait"? Perhaps it's a pair of hands folded submissively on a lap, a patient dog beside the door, or bored travelers at a bus stop. I've heard some people talk as if single young women should act like this: passive and stagnant. 

But what does God have to say about waiting?

In Matthew 25 Jesus told the parable of ten young women who had to wait all night for wedding festivities to begin. "Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. The wise ones, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps." When the bridegroom came along, guess which girls were ready to come out and meet him: the ones who were prepared.

I'm a homeschooled girl who has never had a boyfriend (gasp), and yes, sometimes it's difficult to imagine how I will ever meet Mr. Right unless it's through some kind of random accident. At times it's easy to ignore the fact that I'm single and I can throw myself into living a full and meaningful life, but sometimes it's easy to sit back and bemoan my fate, saying, "Well, I guess I have to wait." If you've ever been tempted to say that, then here is a wake-up quote for you:

A girl who lives a static life of waiting to be married is not attractive. Think what it conveys: “I’ll just sit here idly while waiting for someone to come and give me a purpose, and a house and money and food and make me happy and love me.” It’s very needy. A man wants a companion, not a sympathy case. 

-Debi Pearl, Preparing to Be a Helpmeet 

Let me tell you Lydia's story. Lydia is a beautiful woman with a heart on fire for God. For years her friends admired and appreciated her talents and passion, watching as she embarked on mission trips and made beautiful music with her hands and voice. She was cheerful, sweet, funny, adventurous, and strangely single. Why weren't there dozens of eligible young men snapping her up? 

Perhaps Lydia was thinking that too. I've heard her talk about her struggles in this area, how she wanted a husband but God didn't seem to want that for her. Well, she decided, if marriage wasn't part of the plan she would find out what was. So she took a trip to Israel with the sole purpose of praying and seeking God's heart. And guess what: she found a husband! The moment she stopped waiting for God's will and started doing God's will, Mr. Right fell into her life in an amazing way. 

All of this to say, don't wait, girls! Wait for intimacy, wait for giving your heart away, but for Heaven's sake don't wait to do something meaningful and purposeful in this world until you've found a mate. Unfold your hands and stop being "needy," do the things that will prepare you to be an amazing wife and an amazing woman, because you never know who could be watching....

 

mr. right

I'm pretty sure that, at some point, all little girls dream about something very similar. We all want a perfect wedding, with a special someone waiting at the end of the aisle for us. Many girls (/coughtotallynotmehonestcough) have had their entire wedding, from dress options to reception goodies, planned out since they were old enough to realize mommy and daddy had had a wedding, that this whole wedding thing was desirable, and that boys weren't all that bad. Some girls actually go so far as to cut out the man entirely, and plan a huge bash solely for their own benefit, in the naive hope that they can have a wedding without actually, you know, getting married. Thankfully, that stage ends right about at ten, and never really comes back.

It goes without saying that the future is a question with a lot riding on it. Even more than that is the question of who we're going to spend half of our lives with, and sometimes longer. So, to my mind at least, it's very important that we get this right. There are various ideas as to how exactly we can get it right.

Some girls choose the path of experimentation. They go through a variety of boyfriends, never quite settling down with any one, excusing it with the idea that they're saving up a list of characteristics they want, or just testing to see what they like, or just goofing off while they're young because YOLO, right? More than just spending time with guys and "dating", though, many girls also end up giving themselves in some form to one or more of the guys they date. Be it a few kisses, a few emotional concessions, or a night spent together in secret, they often go farther than they should, and realize too late that it's a mistake, that they shouldn't have ever gotten involved. Some of these girls have had "lines" that they weren't willing to cross.

I've seen so many girls give themselves away to someone who wasn't willing to be there for the rest of his life. He wasn't willing to embark upon a life spent together. Yet time and again, girls continue trusting, giving everything to someone who is undeserving. Is this what God intended for us, his daughters?

I would give an emphatic no in answer. I believe that God said:

...I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11, NJKV)

He knows your future, every little side-plot and roadblock, every plot twist and turn, everything that has ever happened or ever will. He knows what you will name your children and, in their turn, he knows everything that will happen to them. He's got it covered, down to every single last, seemingly insignificant detail. He knows who you're going to marry, who will be the perfect fit to round out your service, to perfectly complement your personality and skills and make your future life the best it can be.

So trust him. Don't think you have to "shop around" to find that one perfect guy who will complete you. Don't think you have to do something to find God's best for you. He'll bring it. Wait for your Mr. Right, because I know God's got it covered.

what is my life?

There is a perennial question that circulates on some social media platforms (most notably, in my experience, Tumblr). It usually comes up when someone realizes how utterly mundane their existence is, or starts to think about the fact that it mostly centers around a small metal device that is magically linked to the rest of the world via an unknowable force that most of us don't even want to understand because that would take all the fun out of it.

What is my life?

What am I doing?

What I don't even i can't why what is this asdfjkl;

I'm quite sure that, many years from now, anthropologists will be studying the ancient data records that are left from that archaic, oh-so-quaint institution called the internet, they will discover this trove of introspective questioning and they will come to the conclusion that precisely 90% of the human population during the early 21rst century were not at all sure what their lives were actually about. (The other 10%, of course, are convinced that the answer to this question somehow, inexplicably, lies embedded in the number '42'.)

I think all of us do this at some time or another. We have to ask, maybe with our faces tipped toward heaven, what exactly our lives are for. Why am I here, God? Why am I here, in America, and not somewhere else? Why am I this and not that? Why was I lucky enough to be born into this family? Why was I unlucky enough to be born into this train wreck that outsiders call a family? What is my life about? What is my purpose? What am I supposed to do with this time? What, why, who, when, how?

This is a human trait. The future is one of those nebulous, annoying concepts that we can't ever quite wrap our heads around, kind of like the vastness of the world or the fact that the universe has no edge or that just the idea of God is too big for us to express in proper, easy human words. So we ask questions to compensate for the fact that we don't have any answers, and those questions can easily consume us.

I'm a senior this year. I've officially graduated from high school. My life as a child is, for all intents and purposes, over. In the eyes of the world, I am now an adult, or close enough to it that I've got to act like I am. And I'm surrounded by a world that, let's face it, doesn't make a whit of sense. So faced with all this, these decisions that are being thrown at me, the ideas and concepts I've got to grapple with, the question of my future and what I want to do with my life, I find myself asking, 'what is my life?'

God, what is my purpose?

What am I supposed to do?

Where am I supposed to go?

What

why

who

when

Perhaps, as I said, this is natural. I've never been good with the future, with deciding what I'm supposed to do. I worry too much for it to be easy. What if I don't get funds for this? What if this doesn't happen? What if I don't get to do this? What if, what if.

But the great thing about God is that he's not a what-if God. There are no 'ifs' with him. I highly doubt that he's ever looked down at one of us, his precious creations, and said, "well, I don't know what you're going to do. You're on your own. We'll see how this works. What if you fail? Oh well, stinks for you."

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. - Jeremiah 29:11-13 

He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee shall not slumber. - Psalm 121:3 

A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps. - Proverbs 16:9 

Thus sayeth the Lord, thy Reedeemer... I am the Lord thy God... which leadeth thee by the way that thou shouldest go. - Isaiah 48:19 

The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delights in his way. - Psalm 37:23

Our lives may not make sense to us. In fact, looking ahead, it can be downright frightening. But we've got a God who's bigger than anything else, even than our future. We are the apple of his eye, the beautiful creatures he designed to complement and live within his wonderful creation. He has a plan, and he sits on the throne.

So to answer our original question: what is my life? What am I doing? What am I supposed to do?

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. - Romans 12:1

Simply put, God is the one who holds power. As his daughters, saved by his grace, we should present our lives to him. After all, he died for us. What a small thing, in comparison.

What is my life?

It his His.