March 2013 Featured Girl: Melinda P.

This month's featured follower is a special girl named Melinda. She is the authoress of the blog Radiant Purity and True Beauty. She is a twenty-something homeschool graduate, living at home and enjoying farming, writing, government, cooking, creating recipes, and volleyball. She's a girl with big dreams, big faith, and big ideas.

Let's hear what she has to say.

Tell us a bit about yourself and your family. What is life like around your house?

I'm the youngest of seven children. Most of the older ones have left, except my Down's syndrome sister, Rachel and my brother just older than me, Jonathan. We live on a farm in Oklahoma. I was taught at home by my parents for my entire education, something I am truly grateful for! Life on a farm in Oklahoma has its daily ups and downs, joys and sorrows. Since we're a self-employed family, the "typical" moments of our days are doing farm chores, eating, cleaning, and sleeping...and the work we get done in between often differs from day to day. :-)

As a twenty-something single girl, how are you supporting yourself/preparing for the future?

I graduated from being home educated in 2007, but even before that I was working for my dad who is an accountant. During the tax season months (January through February), I do quite a bit of work for him. During the rest of the year, I help with bookkeeping and accounting for our business and family. I also have done some things around here on the farm (including milking) which brings me some income. My brother and I have also had a history book business which has taken us to several states for home education conferences. We're actually planning on putting it aside for now as we've both gotten too busy to give it the attention it needs.

Since I don't know what the future holds, I'm preparing both for married life if it is in God's plan for me, and for potential singleness if that is what I'm called to. Since my graduation, I've studied a lot about nutrition, which is a big interest for me (you can see some of my own recipes and insights from my nutrition study from my other blog, Healthy, Witty, and Whole. I occasionally blog there too). I've learned how to cook, bake, sew, and do some gardening. I've also been able to learn how to manage money and run a business, something is useful whether I'm going to be married or not! Right now, I'm praying about some options for starting a business of my own, something I'm nervous and excited about at the same time! :-)

From your blog it looks like you are passionate about Christian femininity. Do you have any help for us on how to be truly feminine from the inside out?

Femininity is one of my favorite things to talk about as you can probably tell! My views on femininity have changed so much over the past few years. One of the main things I've learned about femininity is that it isn't complicated as we usually make it out to be. It's not some legalistic moral code we have to follow. It's not even something we put on by ourselves. Femininity is something that we develop inside. It's the quiet beauty of a meek and gentle spirit mingled with the robust strength of a Proverbs 31 woman.True femininity for me is being a hard-working woman of God who trusts in Jesus to develop His humility, love, meekness, quietness and compassion in me. It's allowing myself to be changed from the loud, clamoring woman that Proverbs warns about to the Spirit-filled, meek and quiet woman of 1 Peter. Obviously, this will affect how I live out my days, how I dress, how I talk, what I listen to and watch, and how I relate to others. However, it all starts with me abandoning my ideals of womanhood and trading them for what Christ has called me to do...abide in Him. It's very freeing! :-)

Who is your favorite woman in the Bible?

Mary, the mother of Jesus is probably the woman I've learned the most from over the years from the Bible. Her example of humility and faithfulness despite very trying circumstances is a convicting inspiration to me. She had to know that she dealing with all manner of rejection and hate from her own people when she was found to be with child, and yet she willing to do what God had called her to do anyway. In fact, she magnified the Lord in spite of her trials! It's such a good example for my life. When I'm faced with rejection and trials, I want to be able to praise the Lord for His goodness in my life!

Visit Melinda's blog at radiantpurityandbeauty.blogspot.com, and follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest!

You can be featured too! Just drop us a line via our contact form to nominate yourself or another homeschool girl who is living large with Jesus.

looking at that mountain

I can do all things...

There are some things in life that are, quite simply, just hard. Staring up at them, I think, "God, what is this, and why is it mine to take care of?" And all at once, I start to realize that yeah, it is really huge, and there's no way I can move it, and I get stressed and worried and it's this endless cycle that just keeps getting worse and worse the longer it goes on. This is something I've struggled with a lot in the past, ever falling and trying to get back up again--and failing more often than not.

...through Christ...

But there's something we have to realize. And that's that the huge mountain we're facing can't be budged by us. It's too huge. That feeling of being swamped, of insufficient strength, is very accurate. We, by ourselves, can't do a thing to help ourselves. Yes, Jesus said "faith as a mustard seed" will remove a mountain...but he wasn't saying that we would do it if we just believed in ourselves. He was saying "believe in me; I'll do it. Just believe; I'll take care of the rest."

...which strengthens me.

My Answer to the Inevitable Question

I've worked so hard to answer this question without any success that I've finally put it on the backburner. For years I struggled and stressed whenever I thought, "What do I want to be when I grow up?" I took personality tests, examined lists and lists of possible careers (calculating salary, location, and opportunity for advancement),  and sought advice from loved ones. I prayed until I was tired of praying, I researched until my eyes watered. And through it all there was never an Aha! moment when my future unfolded before my eyes and everything was made clear. There was a time when I was fairly sure that I wanted to be a teacher (you can hear all about it on video 1 and 2 of my high school graduation speech, or read the transcript here), but with further knowledge that dream is slipping by the wayside, or going through some serious modifications.

So here's another question: do we have to have it all figured out? Must we know at age 15, or 17, or even 20 what we want to do with the rest of our lives, as long as the next few steps are decided? My answer is, yes and no.

Yes: It's important to plan ahead; if you don't have something of a road map then you have no idea where you're going! It pains me to see some of my friends and acquaintances drift through life without any concrete goals, just vague ambitions and hopings for the best. I don't want to be flipping burgers at McDonald's when I'm 30, I'm going to make some plans.

No: If my diligent (not to say manic) research of possible career paths has taught me nothing else, it has made me realize that there are so many possibilities! Our world is one of absolutely unlimited potential. I listen to several podcasts on a regular basis which I would recommend to anyone who doubts that it's possible to find creative work that matters and that you love: 48 Days, No More Mondays, Free Agent Underground, and Coach Radio. The hosts of these shows are inspiring, revolutionary, and are constantly giving me great ideas.

But they aren't giving me a roadmap, and that's what I think so many of us want. We want God to hand down the script from Heaven and say, "Here, my child, these are the plans I have for you." Unfortunately, that doesn't happen.

What has happened, for me at least, is that I've been given inspiration for the next few steps of my journey. I started taking CLEP and DANTES tests a few years ago to earn credits for a college degree (you can learn how I earned over 84 credit hours without stepping foot in a college here). Then I enrolled in Thomas Edison State College, a fantastic (fully-accredited) school that will accept bucket-loads of transferred credits. Now I'm on track to complete my bachelor's degree in English by November of this year. What am I going to do with that degree? It's hard to say. I've tried to study in my strengths (you'll notice I didn't major in basket-weaving or algebra), because I figure that whatever my future career looks like, it's going to involve writing, and a lot of it. I also have plans to go to Bible school for several months in England, and I'm super-excited about that!

In the end, it's all a delicate balance between two proverbs,

 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6).

"Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. (Proverbs 4:26).

What about you? Are your next steps clear?

Questioned Proposal, a photo by Eleaf on Flickr.

Wherever the Cross Takes Me...

This is Altogether Separate's fortieth post. Forty is an interesting number. It rained over all the earth for forty days and nights. God led the Israelites through the wilderness forty years.  Jesus was on the mountain forty days and nights, tempted by Satan. A child is in the womb forty weeks...

But I digress.

Now, on to our regularly scheduled post.

As children, my friends' future careers changed on almost a weekly basis. Most of them still have no idea what they're ultimately going to do with their lives, and they rub their temples as they choose a major and pray for God's guidance on the road ahead.

I was always the odd one. I career-swapped a number of times in my early school days (though always pursuing similar fields), but well before middle school my love of animals and fascination with science fused into a steadfast pursuit of veterinary medicine.

My interest and utter enthusiasm in that area never waned (and if you find yourself particularly bored today or taking a curious fascination to strangers' childhoods you can read an essay about my peculiar and nerdy one), but as I grew older I began to wonder if doctoring animals was really what God wanted me to do with my life. After all, shouldn't I dedicate my blink-of-an-eye time on earth to serving people? Was this a God-given desire, or one to test me to see how much I was willing to sacrifice to follow Him?

It was during that time I learned of veterinary missionaries—veterinarians who abandon the comfort of their former lives to practice in less fortunate regions of the world, caring for the animals the native people rely upon for food, transportation, and income; educating them to increase the longevity of their livestock and equipping local veterinarians; and often ministering to the people in more conventional ways by distributing Bibles and helping churches and teaching English.

I came to realize there are at least as many ways to serve God as there are people to serve Him, and it was entirely possible I could serve through the veterinary field. Regardless of where life took me—overseas or here at home—I would be shining the Light He put in me by enabling me to live a holy life, and I would be fulfilling a necessary occupation in the world.

And what if this isn't what God wants? What if He wants me to marry and have children instead?

I suspect there is a good chance I am called to serve as a single woman (although honestly at this point I have no idea), but if I am to serve God by serving a husband, I will gladly devote my life to ministering to him and educating my children. If the latter, the knowledge and skills acquired in my time of singleness will probably help me in the future in ways I can't conceive of.

But the important thing is that I am content with God's plan, and I will carry my cross and follow Him wherever He may lead.

[By the way, I'm pretty sure I got all the facts right in the first paragraph, but I have the horrible habit of second-guessing myself and I don't have the time to double-check right now. So if I got anything wrong please let me know. =P]

Image credit GabrielaP93 on Flickr.

The Shocking Truth About Family

What's one of the worst things about homeschooling? You have to spend all day with your family. What's one of the best things about homeschooling? You have to spend all day with your family. 

Here's one of the biggest lies that our culture is telling families today: adults and teenagers don't mix. Teens, preteens, tweens—they all think they're cooler than their parents, and parents don't want to spend time with a bunch of immature jerks. So...it's best if the kids are shipped off to school every morning (preferably after Dad's already scooted out to the office) so that they can spend time with their cool peers, and everyone hopes that when they get back they've got a lot of homework to do so they'll stay in their bedrooms. Then they can get on Facebook and play video games until everyone is safe in their separate beds, in separate rooms, with their separate lives safely intact.

That's the lie.  

My own experience with homeschooling has been so different from this typical tableaux, it's unrecognizable. Our homeschooling lifestyle is the only thing that has made our family business possible; my parents own a contract cleaning company, and some of my earliest memories involve sitting in conference rooms and office kitchens, doing schoolwork with my little brother Aaron while Mom and Dad vacuumed and cleaned desks. Since neither of my parents were employees at a business outside the home, we were together as a family 24/7. That's more than many homeschooling families. As the years went by, Aaron and I were able to make a generous allowance by taking on more and more responsibilities, and that's only grown so that now there's no need for us to go out and get a part-time job at Sonic to earn a little spending money.

The shocking truth is that family time—even if it's all the time—can be marvelous. My parents and brother are some of my best friends in the whole world. I don't think that there are many 19-year-old girls who can say that. My mom has taught me cooking, cleaning, sewing, home repair, and we love going shopping together. My dad works so hard and sacrifices so much for all of us, and he's a pretty fun guy. Aaron is a good-looking, intelligent, social fellow who gives the best random hugs. Do we sometimes get sick of each other? Yeah, definitely. Would we sacrifice our closeness for a more segregated lifestyle? Not a chance.

Isn't this better than a school full of peers? Isn't this better than coming home every afternoon to a house full of people I barely know?

First Photo: 32, a photo by Fidenaut on Flickr.