I've Got The Power!

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear"  Ephesians 4:29.

Our words have great POWER. But how does that apply? How much power exactly? Let's find out how and if we can really inspire others through our words...

Recently, I watched the movie My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend with some friends. It started out looking like every other sappy chick flick in the world - boy meets girl, love at first sight, yada, yada, yada...you get the picture. However, as the movie progressed, I was pleasantly surprised with how encouraging the girlfriend was towards her boyfriend. By just a few short words, she drove him to rekindle his previously crushed dreams of becoming a writer. She inspired him to make his dreams come true. In the end of the movie, he ends up writing a love novel and becoming a published author. 

So, I know you’re probably thinking something along the lines of: Sure. She said some nice things in the movie, but like our words would actually make that big of a difference in real life! 

Before I even began to write this article, God had been showing my heart how powerful our words can impact others - for better or for worse. What had especially been impacting me was the ability women in particular possess to crush or propel the male spirit with just a simple word. So why are our words SO important to a man’s heart and mind? Let’s take a look...

In the EXCELLENT book, For Young Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn, Shaunti provides some insight as to what’s really going on behind the rough exteriors of teen guys. In fact, there was an entire chapter in the book dedicated to simply revealing how easily their spirits can be bruised. During her research, she discovered the great need men have for respect. In her interviews, 63% of guys said that they would rather feel alone and unloved rather than disrespected.

But when do guys feel disrespected? 

Some young men said that they feel disrespected in the middle of a conflict with a girl. Other answers consisted of: being judged negatively, being deceived, gossip, jealousy, and a girl just plain being mean. Ouch. Notice how everything that can hurt a man lead back to our words? 

As women longing to live for the Lord and love everyone around us, we have a responsibility - a CALL - to watch our words. This is DEFINITELY a struggle of mine. With a desire to constantly have the last word on nearly everything, I consistently show disrespect to my dad, my brother, and my guy friends. 

So what can we do? How can we live differently to show men (and everyone around us) the respect they deserve?

Here’s a few steps to get started:

1. Pray. Ask God for strength and power to use our words for His glory and His glory alone. Ask Him to give us wisdom to distinguish teasing from disrespect. “Ephesians 6:18 - Pray at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and supplication.”

2. Get into the Word. It’s a constant battle, so we need constant preparation. Look up in a concordance what the Bible has to say about words or encouragement (see the verses below to get you started). “Psalm 119:105 - Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.”

3. Be purposeful. Whatever you say, mean to say it. If you are going to be encouraging then ENCOURAGE! Question every statement before it leaves your mouth (this one takes practice!). Guard everything you say and “be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry...” James 1:19.

Any doubts about our responsibilities? Check out just a few verses on the subject: Ephesians 4:29, Proverbs 18:21, Matthew 15:18, Proverbs 12:18, Matthew 12:36, and counting!

Looks like our words were pretty important in Jesus’ eyes. Shouldn’t they be important to us too?

the unintentional consequences of a word harshly spoken

I'm sure we've all experienced it. Someone says something, some little tiny thing. By itself, it's not anything big. In fact, it's hardly a thing at all. They don't think so, anyway. It was a flippant comment, one of those things that probably, in the long run, prove that they think of you as a real friend--not the sort of friend to cry on, of course, but the sort of friend that will understand a sarcastic remark about some aspect of your person. And though they didn't mean it that way, though any anger that might have been present in the comment is quickly gone, it festers.

Not with them, of course. But with you. You rehash that moment over and over in your mind, replaying the comment, remembering how foolish it made you feel, how inadequate, how ridiculous. That tiny comment, so insignificant, becomes the only thing we can think about. It comes to define how we see ourselves, and more than that, the way we think other people see us--even, sometimes, how we think God sees us. Because, after all, if I am such-and-such to so-and-so, how can I not be such-and-such to everyone else?

And, very often without realizing it, we are sometimes on the giving end of this scenario. A single flippant comment, said in jest. A sarcastic comeback. A word spoken amiss. A word spoken in anger. A rant given to a friend that is carried to another friend. And so it is that it is not for nothing that the tongue is called the most dangerous instrument known to men. It can ruin a life with a single word.

Granted, it's not often that a make-or-break comment is made. Sometimes, things are easily brushed off. Sometimes they're not. Nevertheless, given that the words that come out of our mouth can be so destructive, it's very important to watch over them.

The Bible is very clear on this matter. Psalm exhorts us to ask God to ensure that the "words of [our] mouth, and the meditations of [our] heart" be pleasing in God's sight. It later talks about God's praise being "continually" in our mouths. Obviously, our mouth--just like every other bit of us--was designed for the purpose of glorifying the One who made us. But how is that supposed to rule our interactions with our fellow creations?

Ephesians 2:9 warns us to "let no corrupt word proceed" out of our mouths, but instead that which is good for edification--a big Bible word that basically means the learning of other believers. But those little words, those things said in anger...can those things be edifying? I would say not.

Now, I will admit (and freely) that I am as guilty of this as anybody else. I have a temper. A big one. And I'm not always (okay, very often not) successful at keeping it in check. Add to that the fact that I've a way with words, at least sometimes. Sometimes it turns into a less-than-exemplary bit of word-craft, and I end up sitting there afterwards, wondering just why I said that, and why it is that I'm so horrid. So in the end, I suppose it all just comes down to the same basic thing that everything else in life does.

I can't do this without God's help. I can't avoid saying those things. I can't avoid being awful. Not without Him. But the awesome thing is that he does want to help. That he's ready to help. And isn't that amazing?

 Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips. - Psalm 141:3