Thanking the Lord for Shattered Dreams

There have been many times in my life when I’ve not gotten what I wanted. I’ve had many desires and longings, dreams and plans that just haven’t worked out the way I would have wished. I’d like to say I’m always trusting and full of faith that God knows what He’s doing when I’ve had those upsets and disappointments, but I can’t. However, when I lose my focus and my faith wanes, He remains faithful. Somehow, each and every time I haven’t gotten my way, I have been able to look back and say “thank you” as I see the goodness and mercy of the Lord sparing me from my own desires.

Psalm 27:14, a photo by Sapphire Dream Photography on Flickr.

Right after a major upset of one of my dreams, someone close to me told me, “I know you’ll look back at this and be so grateful that this didn’t work out the way you wanted. You’ll see God at work in your life sparing you from something you’d later regret. Even though it hurts now, I know you’ll be grateful for this.” At the time, I didn’t really like this comment at all. Why would I thank God for destroying my desires and dreams once again?

I can smile now as I look back. Life is hard. God is good. And I am so grateful He spared me from my desires and longings once again. It’s good to be alive and I have so much to be grateful for in my life. When I’ve been a complete mess at times, He has remained faithful. I’m testimony to His abundant, unmerited graciousness and love.

Yes, my life isn’t going the way I foresaw it, but that’s okay. I have so many opportunities, so many plans, so many new dreams. God is filling my life every day with new challenges and new ideas. He is so faithful.

In those times when I was at my darkest, when I was crying myself to sleep wondering where my life was headed, I begged God to give me joy and peace and a new dream. He has fulfilled that and filled my life with good things.

This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him and saved him out of all his troubles. (Psalm 34:6, ESV)

I realize now that what I wanted so badly at the time was not at all what the Lord wanted for me at all. There were so many times when He was trying to gently grab my attention and show me the truth, but I stubbornly drove headlong to see my dream through. It took an unexpected jolt to make me see the light and even then, it took me awhile to admit the truth.

I can look back with regret on those times in my life when I stubbornly ignored God’s gentle promptings and instead strove to fulfill my desires. It’s easy to wallow in shame and regret, bitterness and remorse. However, if I confess my sins, He is faithful to forgive and to cleanse me from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9) He wipes my slate clean and gives me a new goal, new purpose, new desire.

Those who look to Him are radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed. (Psalm 34:5, ESV)

Maybe one day I’ll learn to focus on the Giver of my dreams instead of the gift. Hopefully, I’ll learn to pursue Christ as I worship Him through the gifts and dreams He has given me. He’s spared me from myself and my own selfish desires once again and I can’t be more thrilled. I know my life would have been miserable if He would have granted me the desires of my heart. Thank you, Jesus for being faithful in my life yet again!

Because of Christ, I have new beginnings, a bright future, joy in my heart, and the promise of His help every day. May I purposefully live only to His glory and not ignore His gentle guiding Hand.

“I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!” (Psalm 27:13-14, ESV)

 - This guest post was written by Melinda Ruth of MelindaBlogs.com, where you'll find her original scribbles, heartfelt praise, and hopeful dreams.

i have a dream

When I visited China in June of 2011, the summer camps I attended had a procession of guest speakers, most of them drawn from the camp leadership. They talked to us about various values--integrity, honesty, virtue. We had talks on being the leaders the twenty-first century needs, on working our hardest today so we could reap benefits tomorrow. Pretty standard stuff, most of it, or at least as much as I could understand (at the first camp we were at, most lecture sessions were in Chinese. You can imagine how much I took away from those sessions. The second camp was far more enjoyable, since most of the camp was done in English, so as to help the students practice their language skills).

Most of those lectures have been lost in the tide of memory, overwhelmed by the faces of the friends I made and the few words of Chinese I managed to pick up and retain. But one of the sessions has stuck with me, and it's something that I've returned to often over the past year and a half, because it is so wonderful to think about.

The subject was about our dreams. Not the stirrings of our subconscious that come in sleep, of course--no, the daydreams, the things we fill ourselves with in our idle moments. The dearest wishes of our hearts.

The speaker talked about the essence of a dream. And it was then that he said the one thing that has most stuck with me. There is a difference between goals and dreams, he said. Goals are the things that are achievable. My goal is to go to the Children's Ministry Institute. It is something tangible, something I can actually accomplish. Your goal might be to be a doctor; it is attainable. Someone else's dream might be to become a lawyer; it, too, is attainable.

These things are not dreams, not really. They are goals, benchmarks we have set for ourselves. But they are not dreams, not really, because we can get them. A dream is something beyond that. A dream is something so crazy, so remote, so seemingly impossible in the eyes of men that it becomes almost laughable when seen for what it really is. These dreams surpass everything we can dare to hope. But that's what makes them beautiful.

Because there is a God in heaven. And this God delights in taking what seems impossible and turning it into possibility--and fact. He turns the sun backwards to give his children victory. He parts seas. He makes a hundred-year-old woman have a baby. He sends his son to earth to become a savior. He seems to revel in the impossibilities he makes fact, waiting to blow our minds time and time again, if not with what he's done directly for us, then with the sheer magnificence of the world and the universe he has created around us.

This God knows the deepest desires of your heart. He knows your Dream, no matter how crazy. And I do believe that he will fulfill them, if you believe. Perhaps not completely, perhaps not entirely in the way we'd expected. But hey, I have full confidence that he's going to give every child a home and heal every parent's heart and ensure that every part of the world is at peace and prosperous, with enough to get by on.

Hey, this is God we're talking about. He takes murderers and turns them into preachers. He's got this.

Live Your God-Sized Dream

New Year's Resolutions are often condemned for being too ambitious. Run a marathon. Read a book per week. Lose 100 lbs. There are plenty of reasons that people don't keep their resolutions, and Mary Kate did a fantastic job of highlighting some major ones in "Resolution Solution," so I won't rehash those. What I will do is give you one big reason why people sometimes don't keep their resolutions:

Original photo by Kr. B. on Flickr.     

They are not sold-out, on-fire, bet-the-farm passionate about a dream.

If your resolution, dream, goal, whatever, is not compelling-- ensnaring your mind, heart and spirit until you can't think about or imagine anything else--then you're almost doomed to failure.

Some people "diet" for years.
They "quit" smoking twenty times.
Some people half-finish novel after novel.
Others get one closet organized and then burn out.

Why did they fail? Perhaps it was because they were too ambitious, but I think it's because they were pursuing dreams that were too small, too petty to catch their imagination and hold their focus. What do I mean by that?

Losing weight is a small dream. People "lose weight" every day. But being able to fit into your favorite pair of jeans, looking at yourself in the mirror and knowing that you're being a good steward of God's temple, and feeling beautiful and confident is an inspiring dream.

Getting organized is dull. Cleaning junk out of your life so that you can live a freer, more God-centered existence without the clutter of life bringing you down is an inspiring dream.

Reading more books is vague and uninteresting. Reading two books a month that will bring you closer to God, enrich your mind, and bring you into unknown and beautiful realms is an inspiring dream.

Unless you believe it, you cannot achieve it (click to tweet that). And when I say "believe," I mean it in the most visceral sense, with everything you are.

Holley Gerth, one of my favorite Christian bloggers, is always talking about a God-sized dream. She is passionate about helping other women come alive and live the life they were designed to live. "God-size" does not necessarily mean "big." It means perfect for you. It's the thing that you would do in 2013 if there were no barriers--no problems with money, transportation, family, lifestyle, etc.--a dream God created just for you.

What is your dream?

I'm still trying to figure mine out. It has something to do with 2-3 months in Europe this year, writing as a profession, and volunteering with amazing ministries. But what it comes down to at the core is making life an intimate adventure with God.

How can you transform your uninspiring New Year's Resolutions into a God-sized dream?

The Resolution Solution

It’s 2013! God has blessed us with a whole new year brimming with possibilities. Just think of all of things we can do to bring glory to God this year! If you’re like me, you probably already have developed high hopes and exciting plans. 

With every new year, a feeling of a fresh start comes along with it. Everyone wants the relief of shaking off last year’s mistakes and starting new. Making resolutions is a very common practice for everyone around this time of year. However, for anyone who’s ever made resolutions, we’ve all struggled the hardest part - sticking to them.

Last year, I pulled out my journal and wrote down twenty-two things I’d like to do before the end of 2012. They ranged all the way from eating healthier to having an obedient spirit. You know how many of those I kept? Maybe three? Two?

The truth is I wasn’t able to keep any of them. I’m ashamed to say it, but it’s very true. I should have been able to stick to at least a few. So what went wrong? Why wasn’t I able to stick to my resolutions? God has shown me some mistakes I’ve made with making resolutions in the past. To help each other out, here is a list of some tips I’ve gained from a few years of resolution-ing that will help you to be able to better stick to your New Year’s plans.

1. Ask for God’s strength. Whether they’re simple tasks or whether they’ll take some guts to accomplish, we need our Savior’s help with our resolutions. If we try in our own strength, we will ultimately fail. As humans, we need encouragement and support - someone to cheer us on. Jesus is the best support system anyone can have, after all, he created you, didn’t he? :)

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” I Peter 5:7

2. Limit the number. Too many things to remember can be overwhelming. With twenty-two things to remember hanging over me at all times, my resolutions became stressful and even harder than they should have been. With resolutions, remember that less is more. Work on forming (or breaking) habits one at a time and each one will become easier over time.

“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her.” Luke 10:42

3. Take your time. Resolutions don’t happen overnight. They take work and a lot of patience. Don’t stress out if you mess up one day, or one week, whatever it may be. Everyone makes mistakes, but that doesn’t mean we should give up. Patience is a virtue (Galatians 5:22-23). Pray everyday as you work through them.

4. Stay Organized. Making a schedule or a checklist for your resolutions is a good way to keep track of your progress. Also, journaling about them can encourage you to keep up the good work, or to do a little better. 

“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.” I Corinthians 14:33

5. Put God in the center. You’ve probably heard it said many times that God needs to go first in your life. I say, put Him in the center. If Jesus is the focus of everything you do, then you will be doing everything right and in a way that is honoring to Him. Put Jesus at the center of your quest to eat healthy (I Corinthians 6:19-20), or put Him on the path towards building a loving family (I Timothy 5:8). As my youth pastor put it, make your life look like:

Fam(Jesus)ily

Frie(Jesus)nds

Occup(Jesus)ation

If we long to please Him in everything (which is our purpose as Christians), then He will make our plans happen.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Matthew 6:33

“Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.” Proverbs 16:3

I hope this was helpful and I do hope you will use some of these to make your resolutions come alive! 

What are your New Year’s resolutions?

My Answer to the Inevitable Question

I've worked so hard to answer this question without any success that I've finally put it on the backburner. For years I struggled and stressed whenever I thought, "What do I want to be when I grow up?" I took personality tests, examined lists and lists of possible careers (calculating salary, location, and opportunity for advancement),  and sought advice from loved ones. I prayed until I was tired of praying, I researched until my eyes watered. And through it all there was never an Aha! moment when my future unfolded before my eyes and everything was made clear. There was a time when I was fairly sure that I wanted to be a teacher (you can hear all about it on video 1 and 2 of my high school graduation speech, or read the transcript here), but with further knowledge that dream is slipping by the wayside, or going through some serious modifications.

So here's another question: do we have to have it all figured out? Must we know at age 15, or 17, or even 20 what we want to do with the rest of our lives, as long as the next few steps are decided? My answer is, yes and no.

Yes: It's important to plan ahead; if you don't have something of a road map then you have no idea where you're going! It pains me to see some of my friends and acquaintances drift through life without any concrete goals, just vague ambitions and hopings for the best. I don't want to be flipping burgers at McDonald's when I'm 30, I'm going to make some plans.

No: If my diligent (not to say manic) research of possible career paths has taught me nothing else, it has made me realize that there are so many possibilities! Our world is one of absolutely unlimited potential. I listen to several podcasts on a regular basis which I would recommend to anyone who doubts that it's possible to find creative work that matters and that you love: 48 Days, No More Mondays, Free Agent Underground, and Coach Radio. The hosts of these shows are inspiring, revolutionary, and are constantly giving me great ideas.

But they aren't giving me a roadmap, and that's what I think so many of us want. We want God to hand down the script from Heaven and say, "Here, my child, these are the plans I have for you." Unfortunately, that doesn't happen.

What has happened, for me at least, is that I've been given inspiration for the next few steps of my journey. I started taking CLEP and DANTES tests a few years ago to earn credits for a college degree (you can learn how I earned over 84 credit hours without stepping foot in a college here). Then I enrolled in Thomas Edison State College, a fantastic (fully-accredited) school that will accept bucket-loads of transferred credits. Now I'm on track to complete my bachelor's degree in English by November of this year. What am I going to do with that degree? It's hard to say. I've tried to study in my strengths (you'll notice I didn't major in basket-weaving or algebra), because I figure that whatever my future career looks like, it's going to involve writing, and a lot of it. I also have plans to go to Bible school for several months in England, and I'm super-excited about that!

In the end, it's all a delicate balance between two proverbs,

 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths." (Proverbs 3:5-6).

"Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. (Proverbs 4:26).

What about you? Are your next steps clear?

Questioned Proposal, a photo by Eleaf on Flickr.

Wherever the Cross Takes Me...

This is Altogether Separate's fortieth post. Forty is an interesting number. It rained over all the earth for forty days and nights. God led the Israelites through the wilderness forty years.  Jesus was on the mountain forty days and nights, tempted by Satan. A child is in the womb forty weeks...

But I digress.

Now, on to our regularly scheduled post.

As children, my friends' future careers changed on almost a weekly basis. Most of them still have no idea what they're ultimately going to do with their lives, and they rub their temples as they choose a major and pray for God's guidance on the road ahead.

I was always the odd one. I career-swapped a number of times in my early school days (though always pursuing similar fields), but well before middle school my love of animals and fascination with science fused into a steadfast pursuit of veterinary medicine.

My interest and utter enthusiasm in that area never waned (and if you find yourself particularly bored today or taking a curious fascination to strangers' childhoods you can read an essay about my peculiar and nerdy one), but as I grew older I began to wonder if doctoring animals was really what God wanted me to do with my life. After all, shouldn't I dedicate my blink-of-an-eye time on earth to serving people? Was this a God-given desire, or one to test me to see how much I was willing to sacrifice to follow Him?

It was during that time I learned of veterinary missionaries—veterinarians who abandon the comfort of their former lives to practice in less fortunate regions of the world, caring for the animals the native people rely upon for food, transportation, and income; educating them to increase the longevity of their livestock and equipping local veterinarians; and often ministering to the people in more conventional ways by distributing Bibles and helping churches and teaching English.

I came to realize there are at least as many ways to serve God as there are people to serve Him, and it was entirely possible I could serve through the veterinary field. Regardless of where life took me—overseas or here at home—I would be shining the Light He put in me by enabling me to live a holy life, and I would be fulfilling a necessary occupation in the world.

And what if this isn't what God wants? What if He wants me to marry and have children instead?

I suspect there is a good chance I am called to serve as a single woman (although honestly at this point I have no idea), but if I am to serve God by serving a husband, I will gladly devote my life to ministering to him and educating my children. If the latter, the knowledge and skills acquired in my time of singleness will probably help me in the future in ways I can't conceive of.

But the important thing is that I am content with God's plan, and I will carry my cross and follow Him wherever He may lead.

[By the way, I'm pretty sure I got all the facts right in the first paragraph, but I have the horrible habit of second-guessing myself and I don't have the time to double-check right now. So if I got anything wrong please let me know. =P]

Image credit GabrielaP93 on Flickr.

Don't Dream. Do.

Image credit BaronBrian on Flickr

I don't know about you, but the coming of the new year is usually a sad time for me. As others discuss the year that has gone and all the things they did and the wonderful memories they made, I realize just how little I've done with the precious gift of life given to me.
The thing is, when people talk about living life to the fullest, they often mean physical feats; skydiving, perhaps, pocketing money to travel Europe, or embarking on a new business venture.

That's all well and good, but it isn't exactly practical or possible for some of us to do those things. I'm just a lowly highschooler! My parents don't have the money for a big trip, or anything so exciting, so what can I do but sit around and wait till I'm old enough to do something with my life?

By the time 2011 came around, I'd had enough of it. Maybe I couldn't visit London. Maybe I couldn't go to Harvard. Maybe I had a chronic illness that prevented me from doing things. Maybe I couldn't serve God the way I wanted to, by leaving all my earthly possessions behind and suffering the harsh winters of Mongolia as a missionary.

But I could--and always can--serve God the way He wants me to.

So in 2011, I pushed myself to the limit making the most of my precious little time on earth. I read the Bible cover-to-cover. I spent many sweet hours in prayer for the afflicted, the oppressed, and the lost. I devoted myself more than ever to my studies and attacked math problems with vigor (although not with a paper shredder, as I would have liked to).

But the most important things I did were not physical actions. They were matters of the heart. I severed my attachment to the material things of this world. I let go of the past. I presented my troubles to God. I realized that my present trials serve not to hinder but to prepare me for my future by instilling the qualities--the perseverance, the patience, the trust, the empathy--that I will need later in life. I submitted, even in the midst of agony, to whatever may be in God's will.

And in things like these, I took up my cross and followed Him.

The biggest things in life are often the simplest. So even if you aren't yet in a position to work your dream job, or to become a mother and raise children, or whatever your passion may be, remember that each passing moment is an opportunity to ready yourself for the future--either spiritually, mentally, or physically. And the longer you have to wait, the more prepared you will be--if you take advantage of your time to prepare.

No matter how impossible that passion of yours seems, either financially or physically or otherwise, if God wants it to, it will happen. No matter how far-fetched it sounds that I could serve in Mongolia in my current condition, if that's what He tells me He wants, He will give me the strength to serve. And if that's not what He wants? He must have something even better planned.

Life is an occupation of unknown duration. Don't waste it dreaming. Live it doing.

Dreaming Big in 2012

We all have faith. Whether small or large, no matter the degree, we all have faith. We have faith that, in the morning, the sun will rise. We have faith that the moon won't suddenly decide to crash into the planet. We have faith that the laws of physics will remain in place. We have faith that our desk chair will hold us up. We have faith that God exists.

But sometimes, I wonder if we don't let that faith carry us through existence like a life-raft, and don't consider just what it is and how much it could be. We settle for the life-raft when we could have a yacht.

God has called us to a life of radical, life-changing faith. To demonstrate just what this faith implies, Jesus once told his disciples:

If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.

I'm sure we've all seen a mountain, if only in pictures. It's a majestic crag of rock, a piece of tectonic plate that got shoved up towards the sky. Mountains are the stuff of poetry, literature, and song. There's just something about them that inspires the human imagination. Perhaps it's the immutable nature of their existence. In any case, they're impressive.

Compare to that majesty a mustard seed. It's so tiny, it's practically insignificant. Yes, it has the potential to be something relatively great--at least, greater than it is--but it's completely unimpressive. The idea of this tiny seed being more powerful than a mountain must have provoked a few laughs from Jesus' listeners. They might have thought something like--first he goes on about camels passing through needle eyes, and now he's talking about a mustard seed moving a mountain!

But that was Jesus' whole point. Yes, it's laughable that a tiny mustard seed could move a mountain. And, in the midst of his parable, he was pointing out that it probably is laughable that a tiny bit of faith could carry a person through the toughest trials. We look at all our problems, no matter what they are, and then turn to God and say, "God, what's going on?" Sometimes, we get to looking at our mustard seed of faith and then at the mountain of our problems and we become hopeless. We wonder why God would give us so little faith to carry us through. So we're reduced to tears as we pray, hoping God will work a miracle.

But Jesus didn't want us to become hopeless as we consider the mustard seed-vs-mountain analogy. No, of course not. This was supposed to inspire, to build up. Jesus was saying that yes, your faith may be small. But it can change your life, and the lives of the people around you. You can move mountains through faith.

So, as we go into 2012, consider this: faith is life-changing. Faith is the most important thing. Don't be afraid to test it. Don't be afraid to dream big. God wants us to dream big! He wants us to attempt to move mountains, because he'll always be there to help us, to give us a hand. To answer our prayers and blow our minds. Give him a chance to do that this year.

This is a quasi-companion post to one I made on Teenage Musings.