#foreveralone

Valentine's Day is one of the most lonely times of the year for me. As an extremely romantic person, I crave the excitement of receiving cute little cards or a pretty bouquet of roses. But, as a single girl with such high hopes, Valentine's Day becomes rather depressing. Have you been there? I know I'm not the only one who checks their inbox 7,000 times on Valentine's. :)

Last week, I was feeling lonely, boyfriend-less, and just in one of those moods where the only thing to soothe my soul was a good, hearty chat with my best buds. Bible study was exactly what I needed, and Jesus knew it too. Little did I know, he had prepared my friends' heart to share exactly what I needed to hear that night. A story that made this past Valentine's Day more exciting. This is the story that she shared. And I'll never forget it...

"When I was in college, I swore off boys because Jesus asked me to. In the back of my mind I still wanted to have that special person, but I knew He liked it just me and Him for a while. One evening, It was just me and Jesus, alone in my dorm. I was soaking in his presence and His joy filled my heart. I closed my eyes as He was talking to me - we talked about everything. As I sat there, an image jumped to my mind. It was a picture the most handsome, gorgeous man you've ever seen. Thinking it was my own imagination getting the better of me, I tried to shake it off and refocus, but my Jesus told me to wait and look closer. The man stood tall and handsome in a crisp, black tux. He stood ecstatic on my front porch, holding a dozen of the most beautiful roses you've ever seen. He looked right into my eyes, his beaming with overflowing love. At this point, I was thrilled, thinking that this was my future husband or something of the sort. I asked Him 'Who is this man?' And I'll never forget His reply 'That man is me. I wait for you every morning, holding the roses, waiting eagerly to see you. I stand at your door, eager to get just a glimpse of you, but longing so much to spend time with you. That man is me, and I LOVE YOU.'"

What a powerful story, right? When I heard it I couldn't stop squealing with girly giddy excitement (I even did a little happy dance). This was an exciting discovery, and I knew that Jesus wanted that for me too. So, who cares if that one boy likes us? We have the most dreamy perfect Man in the world, waiting to spend time with us every day. When we leave Valentine's Day feeling hurt or lonely, how much more hurt do you think our Savior is when we neglect Him? He is madly in love with us no matter what we do.

So, don't pass up the opportunity to take those dozen roses, every chance that you have, and let Jesus fill that longing we have for love. When He knows we are ready, the right man will come along, but no matter what, He will ALWAYS love us. He never gives up on us, He never fails us, and He'll never leave us #foreveralone.

We love because he first loved us. 

1 John 4:19 

...the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. 
Deuteronomy 31:6 

Waiting For Marriage...or Not.

I don't think that God is calling you to wait for marriage. 

Waiting, a photo by h.koppdelaney on Flickr.

Now that I have your attention, I'll clarify. What picture comes to mind at the word "wait"? Perhaps it's a pair of hands folded submissively on a lap, a patient dog beside the door, or bored travelers at a bus stop. I've heard some people talk as if single young women should act like this: passive and stagnant. 

But what does God have to say about waiting?

In Matthew 25 Jesus told the parable of ten young women who had to wait all night for wedding festivities to begin. "Five of them were foolish and five were wise. The foolish ones took their lamps but did not take any oil with them. The wise ones, however, took oil in jars along with their lamps." When the bridegroom came along, guess which girls were ready to come out and meet him: the ones who were prepared.

I'm a homeschooled girl who has never had a boyfriend (gasp), and yes, sometimes it's difficult to imagine how I will ever meet Mr. Right unless it's through some kind of random accident. At times it's easy to ignore the fact that I'm single and I can throw myself into living a full and meaningful life, but sometimes it's easy to sit back and bemoan my fate, saying, "Well, I guess I have to wait." If you've ever been tempted to say that, then here is a wake-up quote for you:

A girl who lives a static life of waiting to be married is not attractive. Think what it conveys: “I’ll just sit here idly while waiting for someone to come and give me a purpose, and a house and money and food and make me happy and love me.” It’s very needy. A man wants a companion, not a sympathy case. 

-Debi Pearl, Preparing to Be a Helpmeet 

Let me tell you Lydia's story. Lydia is a beautiful woman with a heart on fire for God. For years her friends admired and appreciated her talents and passion, watching as she embarked on mission trips and made beautiful music with her hands and voice. She was cheerful, sweet, funny, adventurous, and strangely single. Why weren't there dozens of eligible young men snapping her up? 

Perhaps Lydia was thinking that too. I've heard her talk about her struggles in this area, how she wanted a husband but God didn't seem to want that for her. Well, she decided, if marriage wasn't part of the plan she would find out what was. So she took a trip to Israel with the sole purpose of praying and seeking God's heart. And guess what: she found a husband! The moment she stopped waiting for God's will and started doing God's will, Mr. Right fell into her life in an amazing way. 

All of this to say, don't wait, girls! Wait for intimacy, wait for giving your heart away, but for Heaven's sake don't wait to do something meaningful and purposeful in this world until you've found a mate. Unfold your hands and stop being "needy," do the things that will prepare you to be an amazing wife and an amazing woman, because you never know who could be watching....

 

mr. right

I'm pretty sure that, at some point, all little girls dream about something very similar. We all want a perfect wedding, with a special someone waiting at the end of the aisle for us. Many girls (/coughtotallynotmehonestcough) have had their entire wedding, from dress options to reception goodies, planned out since they were old enough to realize mommy and daddy had had a wedding, that this whole wedding thing was desirable, and that boys weren't all that bad. Some girls actually go so far as to cut out the man entirely, and plan a huge bash solely for their own benefit, in the naive hope that they can have a wedding without actually, you know, getting married. Thankfully, that stage ends right about at ten, and never really comes back.

It goes without saying that the future is a question with a lot riding on it. Even more than that is the question of who we're going to spend half of our lives with, and sometimes longer. So, to my mind at least, it's very important that we get this right. There are various ideas as to how exactly we can get it right.

Some girls choose the path of experimentation. They go through a variety of boyfriends, never quite settling down with any one, excusing it with the idea that they're saving up a list of characteristics they want, or just testing to see what they like, or just goofing off while they're young because YOLO, right? More than just spending time with guys and "dating", though, many girls also end up giving themselves in some form to one or more of the guys they date. Be it a few kisses, a few emotional concessions, or a night spent together in secret, they often go farther than they should, and realize too late that it's a mistake, that they shouldn't have ever gotten involved. Some of these girls have had "lines" that they weren't willing to cross.

I've seen so many girls give themselves away to someone who wasn't willing to be there for the rest of his life. He wasn't willing to embark upon a life spent together. Yet time and again, girls continue trusting, giving everything to someone who is undeserving. Is this what God intended for us, his daughters?

I would give an emphatic no in answer. I believe that God said:

...I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11, NJKV)

He knows your future, every little side-plot and roadblock, every plot twist and turn, everything that has ever happened or ever will. He knows what you will name your children and, in their turn, he knows everything that will happen to them. He's got it covered, down to every single last, seemingly insignificant detail. He knows who you're going to marry, who will be the perfect fit to round out your service, to perfectly complement your personality and skills and make your future life the best it can be.

So trust him. Don't think you have to "shop around" to find that one perfect guy who will complete you. Don't think you have to do something to find God's best for you. He'll bring it. Wait for your Mr. Right, because I know God's got it covered.