When God Gave Me Fairies

How many of you truly feel like a daughter of the King? How many of you know that God delights in you? That nothing gives Him more pleasure than being with you and granting you the desires of your heart. God’s heart is the heart of a father. He sees you as His precious daughter. He sits in heaven plotting and planning divine encounters and surprises to make you laugh and smile. Because He loves your smile and He loves the sound of your laughter. He can not help Himself but to do something new to make you smile and laugh again and again and again. He loves it and He can not get enough of hearing you laugh and seeing you smile. The Fathers heart is to delight His daughters.

One of the pictures I took of the fairies God gave me.

I was going through a really hard time in my life a little over a year ago. I didn’t have friends, I was struggling with depression, I was facing a massive struggle and my walk with God was crumbling. My spiritual parents had just moved across the country and I had no one left that I could really lean on anymore. I told God that I would trust Him, but that He had to do something. And God came through for me. Amongst the many things He did, two especially stuck out to me. He sent me a mentor and He gave me fairies. The first is a story for another post and the latter probably has you convinced I’m crazy (and that again is a story for another post). He really did though. God gave me fairies. I was taking a walk with my camera and on the way home the sight that was before my eyes took my breath away.

The sun was hanging low in the sky just before sunset, casting everything in a golden light. And in the light were fairies. Hundreds of thousands of these little bugs (probably midges and mosquitoes) were lit up and aglow in the light. Holy Spirit started speaking to me, reminding me of His love for me. He told me I was going to be ok, I was going to make it through this. He brought back to memory a night from years ago when I was at our church youth group. They had passed around a question box and told everyone to put a question in. The only thing I could think of off the top of my head was, “Are there bugs in heaven.” I was in junior high, I was goofing off with friends, it was a stupid question (the youth leaders even used at as their example of the stupid questions they received in the parents meeting along with their example of good questions). I never expected an answer. But God answered anyway. And when He brought that question back to mind He started telling me how He made everything perfect and beautiful.


The little bugs that I was seeing were created to be creatures of light. They were affected by the fall like all creation, but the purified versions were in heaven. Yes there were bugs in heaven (and I dearly hope by posting this none of you girls decide you don't want to go to heaven, but if it makes you feel any better hell has bugs too and they are nasty and gross there, as the Bible says the worm never dies in hell. Heaven is a much better choice). He answered the stupid question that I asked back in junior high, that I cared nothing about, because it mattered to Him. He heard my voice then, and it mattered to Him that I knew I was heard. That my every cry and question were heard by God and meant something to Him. He told me that He loved me and that He still cared. Though all others had forsaken me, He would carry me through the struggle I was facing. And so I smile every time I see a midge or a mosquito (and unfortunately the mosquitoes still bite me, though not often) because I remember that God loves me, and He cares. I feel like it’s my little secret with God, I see a mosquito and while everyone else gets annoyed my face lights up, because I know what they were created to be. And then I swat the mosquito anyway. :p

This is just one example of something He has done in my life that made me smile. The ways God devises to make you smile and laugh are probably very different from how He makes me smile and laugh. But I know He does do things just to see you smile. Next time you catch yourself smiling, maybe stop and thank God for that moment and know that He loves you. (Then come and comment so we can share the joy with you!) :D

When Trust Doesn't Come Easy

I once wondered how anyone couldn't trust God. "He's the creator of the universe, the Alpha and Omega, he sent his son to die on the cross for us. What's not to trust?" 

Then I went to Bible school.

That experience challenged me in ways I'm still figuring out. At Capernwray I learned that I have major trust issues with my heavenly father. If you're familiar with my past posts, you know that I'm something of a perfectionist, a "good girl" who is passionate about doing everything the right way. What I'm beginning to realize is that this passion for perfection is not always driven by an all-American drive to succeed; more often it is a product of fear. Skull-crushing, heart-thumping, stomach-turning, blood-draining fear. 

And it's stopped me short of adventure my whole life.

People marvel at how I succeed at everything I turn my hand to. Sure, I have some natural talents, but do you want to know the dirty little secret behind my success? I never attempted anything I thought I could fail at. If the going got tough, I got going--in the other direction. The things that I had to muscle through (i.e. algebra) I abandoned as quickly as possible. In other endeavors where I was less-than-brilliant, I kept dragging along in misery day after day, unwilling to admit that I was a "failure" and quit instead of wasting any more time (i.e. piano). 

That was a dreary battle. 

Bible school taught me (again) that God's power is perfected not in my strength, but in my weakness. "Really? I don't have to be fantastic at everything I set my hand to? God can use me even when I'm not succeeding?" That's what I read in the Bible. That's the message I heard from the lectern.

So then the biggest test of my life came, right at the end of term. I was offered a job at the Bible school as an office assistant for one year. 

Can you imagine my fear? This sounds like the perfect opportunity: the job seems to fit me perfectly, the atmosphere is wonderful, the staff wants me to come on board, the school is located in England (a country I've always been absurdly passionate about)...what's not to love? Well, the thought that I would be away from my family for a year is enough to rip my heart out and stomp it into the dust (Homeschool girls, you know how close we are to our families!). At the same time, every indicator shows that this is God's will for me--confirmation from friends and family, circumstances working out perfectly--how can I ignore this clear call?

It comes down to trusting God. 

After several weeks of tearing my hair out, crying, seeking counsel, praying and praying and praying and crying out to God, I've come to the place where I believe this is God's will for me. He's giving me this chance, holding out the frightening opportunity to go out on a limb and do something entirely outside my comfort zone, breaking away from everything I've ever known to do something he's calling me toward. 

Would you take the leap? Would you ignore the pain in your heart and the angst in your spirit and say, "Yes, Lord, I'm going to follow you"? 

I've decided to take the job, and am now working toward getting my work visa and buying another ticket to fly to England this September. To tell the truth, I still don't feel good about it. I haven't experienced anything miraculous that I would call "the peace of God," but still I know that this is a chapter of the story that God wants me to write. Maybe the fear will go away, maybe it won't, but I know that trusting God is never a risk. He is faithful. He is the creator of the universe. No matter how I feel, he is with me and he cares for me, and he will reward those who diligently seek him.

Adjust Your Sails

A guest post by Jessica P.

Imagine you are on a boat. You are enjoying the sun shining down on you. You breath in deeply and relish the scent of salty freshness. You look out over glistening, azure waters and sigh blissfully. If only life could always be this good. But it can't. In the distance you see dark clouds looming and soon enough, you find yourself in the midst of a storm. Your thoughts are muddled. You are fearful as the wind picks up and angry that God has allowed you to be in this situation, and most of all, you feel completely lost. As the rain beats down against the deck of the boat, you look out from the helm and realize you can't see the shoreline anymore. Both the rain and your own tears have blurred your vision. Suddenly, it's clear that you no longer stand in a position of control.

Storm Sailor, a photo by Abaconda on Flickr.

There are so many experiences you can have in a boat. There are days when there is no wind and you are just floating out there, dead in the water. Then there are times when you get bashed around in the waves. And there are some days when the winds are constantly changing directions and you have to keep adjusting your sails in order to move forward.

Life is like that. Events and circumstances come up that we weren't expecting and we have to adjust. I have experienced many such instances in my life. Loved ones fall sick, finances grow tight, friendships fall apart... and through it all, it can be hard not to feel disheartened.

Taking Peter as an example (Matthew 14:28-30), we need to make sure that our focus isn't on the circumstances, but on God. When you focus on the waves, fear and worry tend to set in. But when we focus on God, we are able to find strength, courage, joy, love, and comfort.

Going through life's storms can be a humbling experience. However, remember this – in our weakness, God is glorified. When we can't fix things in our own strength, it only stands as a testimony of God's goodness.

Satan will try his hardest to rock the boat and make you drown. But take heart. God is on your side. Keep your eyes on your spiritual compass. Let God be your guide when you can't see ahead of you. And remember, above all, God loves you and wants what is best for you, even if it takes a storm to draw you closer to Him.

Jessica is a Christian young lady striving to serve God in everything she does. She is also a home-school graduate. She loves all sorts of crafts, but has a special place in her heart for all things writing. She blogs at Literary Pursuits, Young Homemakers, Meditations Of His Love, and Meditations Of His Love Daily.