Why You Should Bake Cookies… Erm, Build Community

This guest post was written by Rachelle Rea.

About fifteen young women piled into the small apartment that day and split into two groups. Most chose the living room as headquarters and plopped down on the couches and the floor. Their job? Writing Bible verses and encouraging notes on slips of paper to go in the bags of goodies we were making. A few of the girls—including myself—chose the kitchen as base. Our first order of business? Searching the cabinets for pans and bowls.

I love to bake, so when I learned that my Bible study group was meeting to bake cookies for a campus event, I knew I wanted to go. I thought I was going to bake. What I did was laugh, smile, joke around, and talk about Jesus.

You see, somewhere along the line of living this set-apart life I equated separate with loner. Big mistake.

Our Bible study met on Wednesday afternoons last semester in one of the dorm lounges, and Wednesday afternoons quickly cemented itself as my favorite time of the week. Those times of prayer, fellowship, and digging into the Word right alongside young women my age meant a lot to me—those are memories I treasure. The icing on the cake was that the girls who sat around me were just as in love with Jesus as I.

As the scent of cookies baking permeated the small apartment, music wafted from the living room. Bags that would soon hold cookies were beginning to take shape. The cookies themselves were starting to take shape, too, beneath several sets of doughy fingers.

After pulling a green bowl from one of the cavernous cabinets, I mixed one batch of cookie dough and rolled cookie circles until my wrists were sore. But I hardly noticed because we were laughing and talking and having a good time swapping stories of how our semesters were going.

Sister, don’t make my mistake. Don’t trade in the fellowship and think holy means lonely.

I learned last semester that spring can be a time of renewing in so many more ways than one. I saw God’s love play out every Wednesday afternoon and in our cookie-baking excursion. I see His love even now, because those friendships have endured.

If there’s one thing I could tell you today it would be this: make time for the cookie-baking, erm, community building. Find those kindred spirits and rub shoulders with them in a squeezed-tight kitchen. You won’t regret it.

The Best of 2012

Wow, Altogether Separate has been going strong for over a year now! We owe it all to this amazing community of girls. We just love inspiring and encouraging you, and hope to do it for a long time to come.

I thought it would be fun to have a look at the ten most popular blog posts from 2012. They cover a wide range of subjects, from gratitude, to life purpose, to family, to waiting for marriage. Check some out and see if one of them speaks to you:

32, a photo by Fidenaut on Flickr.

10. Be the Sister (Abigail): This is a personal story, something that I have learned—am learning—and hope can be of some help to those of you with siblings.

9. Femininity - Duchess, Cowgirl, or something else? (Devin): Femininity.... This is a word that I find conjures up many images in a girl's head when she hears it.

8. A Random Taste of What Is To Come.... (Devin): Our topic for the next two weeks will be on friendship! This should be an awesome two weeks as the topic is an important part of our lives and has taught so many of us so many lessons.

7. November 2012 Featured Girl: Micaela Wood: Micaela is 18 and lives in Downeast Maine. She's a PK (pastor's kid), the oldest of four children, and a homeschool high school graduate.

6. December 2012 Featured Girl: Julia Erickson: Julia is an artist, writer, dreamer, dancer, and a girl who enjoys finding sparkle in every day.

5. Waiting For Marriage...or Not. (Abigail): I don't think that God is calling you to wait for marriage.

4. The Shocking Truth About Family (Abigail): What's one of the worst things about homeschooling? You have to spend all day with your family. What's one of the best things about homeschooling? You have to spend all day with your family.

Image credit GabrielaP93 on Flickr.

3. Meet Our New Bloggirl!:  Heyyo! I'm Mary Kate, and I cannot begin express how excited I am to start blogging on Altogether Separate! God has truly blessed me with this awesome opportunity.

2. Wherever the Cross Takes Me... (Olivia): As children, my friends' future careers changed on almost a weekly basis. Most of them still have no idea what they're ultimately going to do with their lives, and they rub their temples as they choose a major and pray for God's guidance on the road ahead.

1. One Thousand Gifts Giveaway: One Thousand Gifts is a New York Times Bestselling book written by Ann Voskamp. Its purpose? Daring you to live fully right where you are by giving thanks in all things. We answer some controversy about this book in another post.

Thank you for sticking with us through one amazing year!

Please leave topic suggestions in the comment section of this post. We need to hear from you!

Good Girls Really Do Have More Fun

Who says that you have to be lewd, rude, and worldly-wise to have fun? My summer trip is proof that a few girls with spunk, imagination, and a big sense of humor can have a blast without resorting to gossip, trashy talk, coarse programming, or any real naughtiness beyond one-too-many cups of tea.

The adventure began with my first ever flight on an airplane (It was definitely something special!). I flew down to Austin, TX to meet one of my best friends, Aubrey, who then drove with me to San Antonio where we spent several glorious days with two of the sweetest, fun-est girls ever, Brittany and Victoria. All of us have something wonderful in common—we are all Christian homeschool girls.

You have probably read and heard people talk about how “sheltered” girls are no fun at all. They’re naïve, clueless, and utterly dull. We know that this is so far from the truth! However, if you’re like me you’ve probably wondered how the other half lives…maybe you’ve been tempted to do something that went against your conscience because you wondered if you were missing out on something really wonderful.

Because we do miss out on things, right? There are movies we can’t see, books we can’t read, music we can’t listen to, places we can’t go, people we can’t befriend, experiences we can’t have, all because we love the Lord and want to please him. And, to be honest, sometimes that feels incredibly limiting. Even if we don’t respect the “bad girls,” even if we know the consequences of their actions, isn’t it hard not to go there ourselves, if only in our minds?  

Tea, scarves, and friends—what could be better?

Some people would probably say that it’s impossible to keep oneself separate from the things of the world. They argue that evil is too pervasive, and if we truly cut ourselves off from everything that didn’t honor God then we would be living in a cardboard box in the middle of the desert. But do you know what I learned from my trip to Texas? That girls like Brittany and Victoria can dress modestly and be cute. They can watch movies and avoid profanity and innuendo. They can show their girlfriends a good time without resorting to cheap entertainment like alcohol or seedy nightclubs.

 Tell me if this sounds like fun:

·         Watching Doctor Who while wrapped in a life-size replica of Tom Baker’s scarf

·         Shopping for teaspoons at a quirky little antique shop

·         Trying weird new foods like kippers, Marmite, and Fevertree ginger beer

·         Laughing over our celebrity crushes (most of my friends’ would be over 100 years old if they weren’t already dead)

·         Watching hilarious YouTube videos late into the night

·         Talking in British accents—constantly

·         Having afternoon tea once or twice a day (complete with jammy biscuits and scrummy muffins)

·         Singing along to Danny Kaye, Bing Crosby, and The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

·         Doing the Happy Dance in front of the Alamo (I have provided a video for your enlightenment)

People can call us sheltered. They can say we’re missing out. But do you know what I say? Good girls really do have more fun.

Top 5 Tips for Making Friends

If there's one complaint about homeschooling that I hear more than any other, it is that homeschool students get less socialization than students at public schools. At rock bottom, that analysis is spot on--someone who is educated at home has a great chance of meeting fewer people during the school day than someone who is plunged into a morass of hundreds of peers for 6.7 hours 5 days a week. 


What it comes down to is that if you're homeschooled then you have to work a little harder to make friends. 

Three of my most precious friends! This photo was taken
at my cousin's (on the far left) wedding.

This is something I've definitely struggled with. I live out in the country on the outskirts of a small town (think less than 700 people), my parents are not social butterflies, we attend a tiny church, and I'm not part of a regular homeschool group. 


You can see why my circle of friends might be small.


However--and this is a big however--unless your parents have locked you in your bedroom with nothing but textbooks and a violin, you have no excuse for not having friends. If I can do it, anyone can!


Now this doesn't mean that you have to have at least three hundred people you're not related to called "friends" (check out Proverbs 18:24). At one time I was in a little theater production, working with strangers several days a week, and I realized that I didn't really want to be friends with all of them. I "clicked" with a few, however, and we still keep in touch. Sometimes a deep, small circle is better than a great big shallow one, but, you don't necessarily have to have one or the other. Here are my top 5 tips for anyone who wants to make some new friends:

1. Pray. Several years ago I was a little girl with only two or three people I could call friends--and one lived in California. I distinctly remember praying with all my heart that God would send a friend to me, a kindred spirit to laugh and grow up with. And you know what? A couple of months later I was blessed with that lovely lady second from the left in the photo above. What a gift!
2. Expose yourself. You'll never make friends if you never meet anyone. When doing a little research online I discovered one homeschool girl who makes friends at fencing practice, soccer practice, poetry club, drama club, chess club, art classes, kayaking, music classes, dances at the community center, conventions, camps, events at the library, volunteering, and more! There are so many opportunities to get out there and see a few new faces.
3. Be friendly. This might sound a bit obvious, but if you're naturally shy and reserved like me, you know how hard it can be to interact with strangers. However, I know that if I don't act welcoming, put people at ease, and--perhaps most importantly--share some of myself, I'm never going to get anywhere with a stranger. For you more outgoing types, be sure not to be overwhelming! Always treat others as you'd like to be treated :)
4. Follow up. If you need a reason to be on Facebook, this is probably it. As soon as you get home from chess club, connect with that nice redheaded girl and invite her to join you in a fun activity (ice skating, anyone?). Of course you don't have to have Facebook to do this, a telephone, email, or gasp face-to-face contact will suffice. You can't expect a stranger to remember you just because of your great personality, so make an effort and keep reaching out.
5. Don't give up. Maybe you've tried to start up conversations or correspondence with strangers, but it simply goes nowhere. Perhaps you have a lot of shallow relationships, but no one you feel you really know and trust. Don't throw in the towel yet! It may take years to foster an acquaintance into a bosom buddy, but keep praying, keep seeking, and keep being a friend to everyone you meet. The Lord Jesus is the dearest friend you will ever know, so follow him and see if he doesn't bring more friends to walk beside you! 

For more tips, check out "How to Make Friends As a Shy, Homeschooled Girl".

Choose Your Friends Wisely

“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand 

the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to appellation. ” 
―George Washington

{via google images}

In our lifetime, we will encounter a variety of people.  Friendships that we develop will be vast and varied.  There will be friends who make you laugh.  Those who you have deep heart to heart conversations with.  Ones you have known all your lives.  Or simply friends God has placed in your path that need to hear the Gospel.  You name it!

We need these friendships.  It is important to have these relationships for the sake of fellowship and acceptance.  However, it can often be frustrating to have a "lack" of friends.


“Good books, like good friends, are few and chosen; 
the more select, the more enjoyable.” 

― Louisa May Alcott

We shouldn't make friends just for the sake of having them.  Who we choose for our friends is very important...we must take time to consider it wisely.  As God tells us in His word, 

"He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: 
but a companion of fools shall be destroyed."
Proverbs 13:20

All too often people get into trouble by having "companions of fools."
We do not want that.  Most importantly, we need friends that walk with God and point us to Him.
These will have the greatest impact in our lives and prove to last the longest.

Another thing to do is pray about your friendships.  God will provide just the right amount of friends in your life that you need.  Too often, the case is that true friends are hard to come by.  In the end, He will be your truest friend {Proverbs 18:24} and always knows what is best for you.  If we go through life with even just one true friend, we should count ourselves blessed!  

         {Want to hear more about my thoughts regarding friendships?  Read this post!}  

friends through joys and troubles

What is a true friend? 

This is a question that has often come up in my life. I've seen many friendships, both between me and others and amongst the people around me. It's an interesting flow to watch--the constant shift of personalities and motivations, the way people work with others and sometimes love and leave them. Then there are the few gems of the bunch, the shining exception to the rule of shallow, transitory acquaintanceships. These friendships are more akin to sisterhood than the friends-by-convenience liaisons of others. They are deep. They go beyond what is on the surface. These two people are so like one another that, sometimes, their names become inseparable (Diana and Ann, Huck and Tom, Robin and Little John, Sherlock and Watson), and they're forever seen trailing after one another. Even long after they've grown and moved who-knows-where, these two are still known as The Pair, the two who can never be parted.

So what is a true friend? What comes closer to Christ? There are many verses in the Bible that deal with the issue of friends by naming them. Here are just a few:

 My friends scorn me: but mine eye poureth out tears unto God. - Job 16:20  

 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. - John 15:13  

...all her friends have dealt treacherously with her, they are become her enemies. - Lamentations 1:2 

A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. - Proverbs 17:17 

In these verses, two ideals are severely contrasted. One, the friend that deals treacherously, that scorns those who are in the midst of hardship. This is the friend that is only in the relationship for his own gain. Sadly, most people approach friendship from that stance. What can I get from this? What will this benefit me? Can I get something good out of this?

Someone once told me that marriage isn't a 50/50 deal. It's a 100/0 deal--on both sides. This same principle can be applied to true friendships. Friends are supposed to be supporters. It's supposed to be the purest form of support. A person laying down her life for her friends, loving no matter the circumstances, sticking through thick and thin just because that person is her friend. We, regardless of what other people are doing, are supposed to give 100% to a relationship. It can be difficult, of course.

But I believe that that is what a true friend is: someone who is willing to give everything to a friendship, regardless of what troubles, roadblocks, or drama may come.

Faithful Friends...

Friends.

We all have them some are... they are gifts to be cherished.

They add joy and laughter to our life...

They help us and pray for us when we face struggles...

They cry when we cry, and giggle along with us as we giggle...

They encourage us to walk with the Lord each day...

They forgive us when we fall short and accidentally hurt them...

They are a tool that the Lord uses to sharpen us...

Friends are to reflect His love, which is patient, kind, not envious or rude, seeking the interests of others,  and placing others desires first before your own... forgiving each other and helping each other to be more like Christ.

 "A friend loves at all times,

    and a brother is born for adversity."

Proverbs 17:17

Friends are faithful to you, sticking to your side in the good times and bad...

They are tools that the Lord uses to help you grow in Christ.

Yet in thinking about what friends are... or rather what they are to be, I must ask myself "Am I that kind of friend?"

When struggles arrive or hardships come, am I a faithful friend?

Do I love like Christ, seeking others interests above my own?

Do I encourage others by my words, or do I hurt them with careless lips?

Am I forgiving, patient, and merciful?

In striving to be like Christ, we must daily pray for His strength to help us be faithful to the friends that He has given us... that our friendships may reflect His love, faithfulness, and joy.

I know that I have fallen short, that I have not always been a faithful and loving friend, but the Lord is teaching me, and through HIS strength alone do I seek to be a faithful friend.

Value the sweet kindred spirits in your life... cherish and treasure those whom the Lord has sent into your life to add encouragement,  joy, and to help guide you as you tread on this narrow path... may we

strive to be a faithful friend, loving like Christ, and reflecting His light!

Blessings,

Godly friends are tools which the Lord uses to mold you and sanctify you, as Proverbs 27:17 says...

 "Iron sharpens iron,
    and one man sharpens another."

A Random Taste of What Is To Come....

Hello Girls!  Our topic for the next two weeks will be on friendship! This should be an awesome two weeks as the topic is an important part of our lives and has taught so many of us so many lessons.

However it has been really busy at our house for the past few weeks, so for this post I'm going to take some inspiration from some other sources :) 

The Gift Of Friendship

Found on Google Images

Friendship is a priceless gift
That cannot be bought or sold,
But its value is far greater
Than a mountain made of gold -
For gold is cold and lifeless,
It can neither see nor hear,
And in the time of trouble
It is powerless to cheer
It has no ears to listen,
No heart to understand,
It cannot bring you comfort
Or reach out a helping hand -
So when you ask God for a Gift,
Be thankful if He sends
Not diamonds, pearls or riches,
But the love of real true friends.

Helen Steiner Rice

 

What does the Bible have to say about Friendship? A lot!  Here are some of my favorite verses on the topic!

John 15:12-15 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you."

Luke 6:31 "And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them."

Proverbs 27:17 "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another."

"Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe unto him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up."  ~  Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

What do some of the great men of history have to say on the topic of friendship? Well, let's find out! (This was fun, finding all these quotes =])

“Is any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a good fire?” C.S. Lewis

"But friendship is precious, not only in the shade, but in the sunshine of life, and thanks to a benevolent arrangement the greater part of life is sunshine."
Thomas Jefferson

Friendship is born at the moment when one person says to another, "What? You too? I thought I was the only one." ~ Anonymous

“The next best thing to being wise oneself is to live in a circle of those who are.”  C.S. Lewis

But friendship is the breathing rose, with sweets in every fold. ~ Oliver Wendell Holmes

 "A friend is a gift you give yourself." ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me." ~ Henry Ford

"No soul is desolate as long as there is a human being for whom it can feel trust and reverence." ~ George Eliot

“Family not only need to consist of merely those whom we share blood, but also for those whom we'd give blood.”
― Charles Dickens



Found on Google Images

And what do our favorite heroines have to say?

Well.....

"Kindred Spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It's spendid to find out there are so many of them in the world." - Anne Shirley in Anne of Green Gables

“Good books, like good friends, are few and chosen; the more select, the more enjoyable.” ~ Louisa May Alcott =]

“There is nothing I would not do for those who are really my friends. I have no notion of loving people by halves, it is not my nature.” ~ Jane Austen Northanger Abbey

"If I take offence easily; if I am content to continue in cold unfriendliness, though friendship be possible, then I know nothing of Calvary love."  ~ Amy Carmichael

Alone we can do so little; together we can do so much. ~ Helen Keller

"Stay is a charming word in a friend's vocabulary." ~ Louisa May Alcott


  I hope you enjoyed this small taste =] It was neat to see how many famous people left quotes having to do with friendship.  It is truly a very important ingredient in this walk through life.

Have a wonderful week!